Category Archives: Education

Lack of work experience among academics at institutions?

I was thinking about that when one search for a job within institutions, which I have – the experience from any working sector seems unnecessary. Perhaps others have experienced this as well when adding or compensating knowledge from studies with experiences from work? I have wondered many times whether one was to see any consequences about this attitude among employers representing their service sectors.

Now I actually came across an episode from a Swedish journalist series named Uppdrag Granskning – which could be translated as Mission Inspection. I witnessed how Swedish farmers were harassed by veterinaries and animal inspectors about the health of their animals. The conclusion by clinical studies was that by means of data from bone marrows and autopsies nothing was accurate from visual inspections of the animal health.

The reasons for these unjust rulings from veterinaries and animal inspectors were total lack of experience from both animal anatomy and their preferred behavior. Clinical studies presented in the program stated in absolute terms that both latter competences in these two cases had resulted in totally wrong decisions – culling and changed ownership by the force of law.

This is a very good example of how valuable experience within the field one represents as an academic really is. Still I feel when laying strong value to work experience for jobs at institutions that it is considered unnecessary for the duties.

Just a thought.

I insert the YouTube material here from the program episode. It´s in Swedish but perhaps some get a good opportunity to practice^^


Welcome back

Hi! Again!

Can begin to welcome all back after the holidays of summer jobs and holidays. I also want to welcome the new ones to the world of academics and science. Here we are again and a new year takes its start.

Even if not attending personally in Uppsala anymore, things are progressing in their little lanes here as during the last year. Actually for me too it’s a new phase. After some discussions with my evaluator I understand now it´s best to take what I have, make a new angle and start over. Yes! It feels a bit bitter but I guess it could be for the best.

The thing is that even though I´m using data about expectation of bacterial resistance towards narasin in broiler production, it´s not enough as evidence to base my thesis on. So it´s just to grab the bull by the horns, spit in the hands and wait for the fat lady to sing a while longer.

Hopefully I will be through with the thesis this year at least. I really want to get it done now. Things are not as exciting as they were during the bachelor. About the eyes, lasers and possibilities to go through with it, I actually got my hand on laser lenses now. After years of building my trust with relevant institutions I can finally feel some kind of control over my life. It´s just about 10 times reduction (the other extreme is about a million times reduction). Although they will surely be better than nothing in the grocery store next time.

I have finally worked what I promised at my work and can finally sit down since a week and rest off months of work. I have been licking old and new wounds now and I am trying to force myself to engage into the thesis again tomorrow. It will start with changing the introduction.

So, that´s about it!

P.S. I am about to get my hands on the Metro 2035 xD

Fast report


Time is passing fast and I´ve been rather tired for some time. Doesn´t manage the blog even nearly as often as I would want to. Anyhow I sent a very simple draft to the supervisors. As it looks I have some work to do about that. Anyhow it was in good grace I got the comments so feel good. I´m pretty sure I want make the deadline though.

My job is taking lots of energy and can´t say I enjoy it very much most of the times^^ Although I learn a lot which I hope to use in the future at my own terms.

I´ll be dropping in from time to time and fill in on how things progressing.

Have a nice one!


Treading on

Here I am, writing and reading about hops, a major part of my thesis. I feel I have mustered enough info soon to just spit it out on paper and begin with the theoretical framework and other stuff. Ah, I must say it´s a bit tricky, this very strict code of conduct.

Well I came to learn and so I have. Although I feel that it´s very much idealism right now. Wow. It´s almost hard sometimes to see this realism in the middle of all these ways of choosing how to classify right or wrong.

With the Death Hour from Nolongerhuman in the background I´m just letting the writing take me somewhere without much info about where I´m going. I guess this is why no frame looks like another among the student works I´ve read so far.

At the same time I´m trying to avoid getting paranoid from my landlord asking about where I´m going all the time so she can give me a baby sitter to guard the newly arrived guest when I´m alone. At least she´s not almost hostile as the former one was in Uppsala:P Although I´ve put in another ad again for new accommodation^^

One baby step at a time.

/Until next time


Since last time I´ve continued working on the thesis. Even took the time to visit Geo center for a quick errand. Although I saw only one of the class mates. Guess everyone is home writing on their stuff. After all, this is the final course, then we are done with the program.

I myself am trying best possible to get things done. This whole week and a few days more has been spent managing lots of errands. It was a long time ago I had one of these, just drop everything and begin putting out fires, kind of a thing. Guess it has been necessary although. A couple of days more now and I hope to be back on the original track again.

Well not much more to be said.

/Until next post


While spending every other day freezing owed to the erratic weather changes the thesis is slowly progressing ahead. Typical for April. I begin to get the feeling for this poultry thing now and a few headlines have been proposed in my doc. Even though we studied some agricultural production we only touched onto animal husbandry. So it´s very interesting to study something one hasn´t really delved deeper into before.

I watched some of the installation presentations by the new professors at SLU today at the web. Safely away from the laser pointers they were openly wrestling to master. Yes, I don´t stand for this irresponsible usage in the class rooms. Grownups should know better!

Here you have the link to the presentations. Perhaps they will contain subtitles in the future. As of now they are all in Swedish. Sorry I see they have moved it. If you find it faster than me on the homepage, knock yourselves out:) Regrettably recordings seem to be held by different institutions, so they are spread all over.

Anyhow it was much oriented around animal science with a lot of information ranging from animal husbandry to human consumption patterns and relation to food. Some had quite interesting presentations, both as such but also since I had hard times agreeing about approaches to food safety.

For example one of the professors started with presenting this old food gap set by FAO to 70% in the future, so many years ago. I remember I used it in my thesis as well at the time. I think it´s too bad many pinpointed changes in food consumption and a demand for willingness to pay for what the production cost, as alternatives to press the efficiency in the production. Isn´t a change in our behavior the number 1 most important change in the whole list?


Hi again!

You know, I´ve been wondering about this world we live in. Our society. I remember my presentation I had of my own idea of societal change in a small group last year. While talking of different economical systems, different ways of evaluate companies, other channels between employer and employee in relation to resource management, many in our little group shone up.

My idea as a romantic was to shake things up among others and present all these ideas that systematically would rebalance the society. Don´t you agree that a constant growth of the economy will rip everything of our planet even if making most our money from thin air? Yeah you can think about that one even at a basic level if you hadn´t heard of thin air.

What if other values as say social ones could balance up for a constant growth? What if a company at the stock market that has half the turnover of natural resources as another one is still valued the same in monetary terms? All owed to lend say nearly free labor to other parts of the society like farmers that would need work force for environmentally sound cultivation systems.

Today people are so inactive that even young ones begin to have problems. Think of how these work environments out in the fields of flourishing green would alleviate psychological problems within the concrete bunkers, when people could happily work themselves tired. Imagine how much the costs for health care could be reduced.

The social systems are like so many others, they just need to be balanced to work properly. If taking for example heart medicine which might cause bi effects; would it be any problems if the rest of the body would be balanced at a biochemical level for the intake of the bioactive substances you are devouring?

Would it be a good world to work 4 hours as a lawyer and the remaining four in the agricultural fields each day, coming closer to the food you eat? Would it be good to do it in relation to the work as well for simple management of the salary? Do you think the world’s population would earn on learning how to produce your own food?

Do you think we would reduce much of our consumption in our over consuming society if spending more time resting from the work in the fields each day? Instead of bying stuff that is. How many planets regenerating capacity are we using in Sweden in our everyday life?

/Just a thought

Setting course

For the first time in many weeks I´ve made some break through about the thesis. I tried to push for at least 2-3 hours each day and have now returned the thesis proposal. The midterm report is to be sent in tomorrow when I´ve finally got in touch with my evaluator about presentation date. I´ve a strong feeling it will be set to after the summer. Well, we´ll see. As of now I just feel so happy that the eyes begin to give some sign of healing. I´m so proud of them:):)

It feels good to think about that everything until the thesis has been done at least. That gives some mobility if to get a part time job or something at another place. I can take this with me wherever I´m going.

Feet down and head up I´m travelling on. Hoping that there´s some kind of meaning to all this; this suffering from lasers in the society. I know that more than me are suffering in different magnitudes. Hoping to leave all that behind me with a Master diploma and some recognition of fighting some kind of thing that very few are cut out for. Would mean a lot if the whole history would mean something.

As of now I´m just trying to stay on track.


Political troubles

Yeah, I know. Time passing by very fast many times and here I am trying to catch up. Well, at least I can sleep during nights again and it feels as if I might have got about an hour plus, in front of the computer each day. Perhaps I can try to compensate the delay although with a little longer section this time, about Swedish politics.

When watching the news today I came to think about the issue and felt that perhaps it would be good to go over some points concerning that topic. Many tend to believe that Swedes are rather well educated. When entering politics lots of people here feels suddenly very, very lost. In my opinion that´s true. Swedes seems to a great extent to suffer from the self centered worldview that is to a lot extent experienced through Google at their phones. This is giving lots of charismatic leaders space to sell easily sold points built on low quality facts to their own parties, which in turn causing lots of confusing among Swedes that no longer follow that what really is happening in the political chamber during daytime.

As of now the all so stable Swedish governance system has experienced one crisis after another where many voters have felt driven over owed to too many collaborations between political parties partly not voted for and too much foul play by some parties. One of those hot spots was the former governments´ action to bypass the bureaucratic system for starting the wolf hunt, which has been a very, very sour spot for continued trust in the system.

Sweden has for as long as I can remember had a number of stable parties represented in the parliament. Others come and go, struggling to keep enough mandates. They still are: the Left party; Green party; Social democratic party; Centre party; Liberal party; Christian democrats; Moderate party; and the addition of the: Sweden democrats, recent years. The order more or less represents their left/right winged positions in relations to others with the extremes on each side.

These parties are readily splitting themselves into two groups with the breaking point between the Social democrats and the Center party, by the name Alliance since 2006 at the right side and a less pronounced name for the left winged ones.

Before mentioning how much Sweden has changed from 2006 to 2017 I should also mention that many here support this new societal direction for Sweden while others don’t. This with the very individual oriented mindset has created an identity crisis for what sort of a society Sweden should represent internationally.

So! From a situation where everybody seemed to know exactly which parties to vote for and what to expect, to the position where most people wonder what´s going on…

Prior to the 2006 election many were displeased with the Social democrats, being very strong in their political position. When I begun my military service the same year lots of the young people cheered when the Moderates (at the time the most extreme right wing party) was elected and together with the three other parties proclaimed the so called Alliance. One year later when we were done, not that many were that happy anymore. Even outside of the military when I came back to the real world many young people were displeased for their vote at this very extreme party.

Had the promises about a new gentler political agenda just been empty words? Lots of sick people that got their subsidies revoked, lots of money being transferred from international aid, not much financial help to small companies after all. How could this be, many of these young people wondered? Everything that this guy (Reinfeldt) said sounded so good! He seemed to be on top o things!

This was the starting point of a development still going on where many Swedish people realized that our system had become very untrustworthy or even in some issues like the wolf hunt, corrupt. Except for the latter part, I would say that nothing than the voters interest to take responsibility for their freedom to vote, had changed. Swedes have for many years made lots of fun of US voters that tend to believe any smear campaign toward the other political field. Now it seems as many Swedish people independent of age are in the same position as many young ones; they have become ignorant. Shouldn´t the parties stand for what they have promised?

Regrettably as a Swede I actually think that common knowledge in Sweden has fallen to such a question. With a rampant accommodation crisis since people with no subsidies are forced into big cities for work, lessened taxes to public health care and social protection systems many Swedish people are living in the world they have created for themselves. Many stand for this development proudly though.

Of course many are still looking for an escape goat. Of course it must be the politics as such that has gotten so rotten, right?! So now many are protesting by supporting the so called Swedish Democrats. At least they are going to punish all the immigrants… right? Do you think that most people voting for that party know that they are running an ever more right winged political agenda than the Moderates concerning even Swedes?

The fault is always someone else’s when it comes to politics. Even among voters.


Moving on

For the first time in many weeks I have made something significant toward picking up the trail of the thesis proposal since I faltered. It´s hard to know how to approach this last lap of the education – the last course. At least it feels as some kind of break through.

Regrettably the course leader begin to send posts about coming deadlines around the corner. Gosh. Well I guess one has to keep the calm and try to work the problem best possible.

I have mailed some of the leading authorities within Swedish health care science towards laser, trying to speed up their process a bit by posting information back and fourth. As usual I guess they haven´t taking the time to do that themselves. Sorry to say I haven´t heard anything from the eye doctor in question. What more can one do?

Yesterday I got this letter that suddenly enlarged my own world. This kind of letter that makes your heart to jump a couple of times, before realizing it wasn´t a catastrophe. Although still serious. As we know the heat has returned to the world again where west and east are dividing the world with Syria as baseline. We that have done our military service in Sweden got this letter reminding us that big Sam hasn´t forgot about our duties, demanding us to confirm our responsibility. No one knows how things are going to end. Can only hope the world remember enough to avoid a third world war.

Although in the middle of all the hardships I got contacted by Viva la France and Pocahontas from the internship course. It feels good in such times to remember the twins. As it looks now we are to have a little reunion in Uppsala over some food tomorrow evening. It would be good to have something else to think about for a minute or two.


Tie the bag together

Time is ticking and I´m trying to get a heading on the situation. I spend much time just mustering. I met the supervisor and got feedback on the core from the examiners´ points to my proposal. Thoughts were mostly about the reason for exploring the issue. So I guess I´ve to dive deeper into it. Regrettably for me, my interest is not enough, hehe.

While resting the eyes from the static effort focusing onto screen and paper I have come a long way towards finishing Starcraft Brood war campaign where the eyes can work more dynamically. Sorry to say it don´t hold the quality as that in Starcraft. Far from it!

Meanwhile when having time, I´m thinking about the bachelor and being at square one again after the Master. The season is about to begin within the horticultural and agricultural sectors. Contacts begin to pull left and right. Pruning, cultivation, services, mainly. During the master program I have been representing green enterprises in the class, mainly agriculture. That SLU in my opinion discrediting our program compared to others is just as maddening as it was during the bachelor. Very frustrating actually.

Soon the Master is over and of course I´ve learned lots of stuff during my time here. It´s good to hear that classmates got recognized to many people´s amazement owed to the master degree. I just hope this could give me some slack as well. Something I don’t have from the bachelor. I´ve been recognized for my knowledge during this one and a half year. I feel strong into my main fields: Agriculture; environment; logistics; biochemistry.

So I wonder why SLU hides us away; holding in on half of our competence. Mainly research and agricultural competences. Green enterprises or agencies have little idea what a cultivation engineer really is and whenever they have, the name make them wonder what we could contribute with at all. Wouldn´t they have heard about us? And not a word about our bachelor in Biology from SLU.

Would it be so hard to give credit to the students they have educated? More than the agronomists, farmers, horticulturists and landscape architects/engineers. Where are the cultivation engineers? I know now we have begun to take positions in agencies and consultant companies but not even close to other students.

/Just a though

Hans Rosling

Today I read that we lost Hans Rosling, a very distinguished professor within international stability spheres. He took his assignment with great seriousness. During my whole education there used to be one live presentation after another on TED talk or YouTube. He used to be very interactive while describing global development indexes measuring stuff like global population, conflicts, economical development etc.

I had the privilege to see him live at SLU Ultuna a couple of years ago alongside Johan Rockström. As usual sustainability issues were parts of the themes. I believe I´m most grateful for his open reaction criticizing Rockström for using these new unsophisticated gadgets such as pointers during the presentation. I could see the former a bit ashamed picking up the old school stick the very next time he went on stage.

Well the time is ticking I guess and it becomes more clear that our generation is to take on the responsibility for this and future generations. If we decide too that is… The old-timers are disappearing one by one and soon it´s very much up to us to constitute the foremost line in societal developments.

Just like last time I have problems with the eyes. Trying best possible to contact stakeholders I have been in contact with before in various parts of the society about laser injuries and protection measures. Not least in the science field. What more can one do than trying another lap to urge for more focus towards recognition towards us in need of help and protection to further exposures?

One day at a time..

Anyhow, if you are interested I have included a rather entertaining presentation by Rosling. Perhaps it´s your cop of tea as well?

/Until next time



Since I finished my internship the time has just flown by. It seems as my life goes in hyper speed. The days are flashing by in front of my eyes. Oh, wow. Perhaps says something about my internship. Last week I did the presentation together with some others from my class. It was a rather nice occasion with very plain presentations. Not much demand for a certain code or anything.

Here the other day the remaining submissions from the course were marked with the approval stamp. A relief about the understandings concerning my circumstances. The supervisor was although surprised by the hehe… kind of positive report. Guess the rule from my 20 years in the work sector came into the picture in the last second – never, ever talk down about a former employer, EVER! That might cost you the next job, no matter the circumstances.

I´ve at least blown the whistle and the university is free to take precautions about the internship in the future. Just a couple of days after the approval of my submissions, I passed the course. So now it´s only the last 25 % left of the program. The thesis!

That´s although my problem. The eyes have been healing for a month now and nothing much has been happening. A few days after the incident it looked as if I had received a fist in the eye. Red emerging blood vessels everywhere. So the thesis has stood still since I rushed the registration. Now my eyes has stopped aching during nights, but I can feel while I´m writing this that they are making their current health status reminded. Pain!

Sh#t. I really don´t know what to do about it. The eye doctors wont do anything. They have abandoned us, continue defending the introduction of lasers in society.

I plan to lay low and hope I figure out a way around the problem. I´m afraid this means the end of the service sector. After cheating destiny time after time I seem to have received the final blow to the eyes. These new led and laser diodes in bicycle lights, tools and more… are killing my eyes, literarily. This time, a five year old that found it lying on the kitchen table.

Well. One day at a time. First on the bucket list for now: try finish this Master. One day at a time…

/signing out

Wicked repetition

Yesterday the last of the internship course was done. We ended with some last presentation from internships. The spell bound audience was other students. As it looks now I should have concluded about 75 percent of the Master program. Regrettably the last light in my eyes with the very strong lamp has begun to take the best of me. Just like during the Bachelor thesis some higher power or something decided to drop down on me again like a splinter in my eye. Literaly.

Just now I´m in some emergency-panic mode. Mostly wondering how I´m going to do this. Feel stunned most of the time. If it can be done at all. These new toys including lasers are really killing my eyes. Would really have been interesting to have an approval about the topic during my thesis. Although it seems as I have to do with what I have.

I got the feedback from the examiner, of which I had to redo some of the proposal. It was expected since I just stressed it in. So after some changes I´m to send it back and be on my way. It´s rather good actually to get some feedback. Then I can sense the dynamics of what the focus is when writing within the social science.

Well. I guess it´s one day at a time as usual while one wonders if these sudden deaths to the eyes will ever stop. Amazing how the history managed to repeat itself.

/Struggling on

System thinking

Cleaning the brain from studies. Watching some of the greatest gamers ever in Starcraft Brood war. How weird it might seem, the Starcraft platform has given me lots of system knowledge. From as far back as I can remember, the dynamics between the three styles, perfectly balanced as a whole, not just between units as in the second game constitutes a very basic truth about conclusions made in science; the survival of the fittest, as Darwin put it. Together with another dude which was robbed by much of the recognition;)

Many years after my mind was blown away by the genuinity of Blizzard (at the time) I still can draw very linear conclusions about, war, human resources and sustainable development. Just as provoking as it might be sitting in the position with lots of fans looking, backing off because natural resources are depleted, the situation is the same for real societies’ politicians with their voters, having depleted all forests, humus and soils owed to wars.

I wonder for example how Africa might have looked 10 000 years ago. When told at the time that it hadn´t changed that much – Africa had an arid climate already then – it didn´t really fit that well in my mind. Especially many years later when old rivers have been detected under the sand dunes. I mean, just in Sweden we had serious desert landscapes with moving dunes before. It doesn’t take that much time for induce it or to freeze the situation, as had been concluded about Sweden.

The platforms from Starcraft are so thankful to study from that viewpoint. Really lots to be learned just by setting the reality in some contrast. In some ways as Mikael Ende did during his time. One can really argue whether other approaches than the ordinary actually could bring more clarity about the reality, to know how to perceive reality in some more consequent way, even towards such we have taken for granted.

Well. Awesome game, awesome interface and a lot to be learned. Haha still 20 years later on the year, I´m still blown away. Take a glance from some of the milestones and give the words some thought, would you?

We´re sitting playing realities of human behavior and natural resource management for fun. Well provoking, isn´t it? I wonder what academy could learn from introducing these interfaces into the education^^

/Thanks for reading

In position!

The deadline has passed and to begin with the bad news. A little kid here the other day thought it was funny angling this new bicycle light straight into my eyes from within an arms length, hidden best possible behind open hands. So now my eyes are messed up again. Hard to focus longer periods on the computer screen with lots of pain during nights when the eyes are relaxing. Sigh! Sure I could study for this restricted time frame, but I´m really hoping the eyes can come back, somewhat at least. One never knows.

The good news! I made the deadline! I managed the registration:) Thank you Åsa! Must have been the fastest research proposal ever. Little more than a week. Thankfully – alleviating my eyes for potential remastering, my supervisor having represented our interdisciplinary program, was more interested of my coming design than the proposal; do I understand what´s coming?

He said we students are representing a field romanticized by fellow academics off which most back down when asked themselves. It´s a no-man’s-land where students ends up bridging the flaws of professional academic idealism. It seems to me as if this program via continuous thesis framing, is bringing a higher potential of knowledge AND wisdom.

This seems with warmth in my heart, true for me as well bound to a deal I made with the supervisors. As of now I´ve fallen between the chairs. What begun as reluctance to be the main supervisor into the own discipline ended up with two supervisors to aid with much but what their positions could.

This is a long shot of trust between three entities of which the student should feel the seriousness, which I do! Both supervisors says: “I can´t aid you with tasks my position in this enterprise should entitle me too”. At the same time, here it comes; this is the exact position I have sought during almost ten years in the academy! The same position that´s lacking today. I can´t believe it!

Now it´s me that have been entrusted to wield the knowledge of experts around me, as a Holist, giving aided value to our endeavor, via the broadness, not depth, of my education. I feel this is going to be very interesting. Either way I´m going to explore a position that seems as a hot spot for what have been demanded among overall science latest years; a holist partly leading among experts for a synergy with direction and communication.

/That´s it!


With three days left to the research proposal deadline I found a primary supervisor, completing the trinity that is to propel the thesis. I can say that the course coordinator seemed very pleased with the news. I´m pleased to feel that this might still be possible. I´m also most thankful to my understanding course Coordinator which really tries her best to keep her ducklings in line. Without her understanding and help, this would have been close to impossible.

I´m also glad that the supervisor himself seems very encouraging, hoping that the little timeframe for corrections will be enough for me. My evaluator which I met first in line of current events seemed to recognize the implications with the interdisciplinary approach. Very humbly she as a professor, into the empiric field of focus, made a disclaimer about the sole clinical field of importance. It was better if someone more fit for the task was to lead this thesis representing a rather windling path of various scientific disciplines.

I myself have been alternating between completing agreements with various interlinking authorities, gluing some romantic will of survival into the game of staying with the head over the water surface. It´s here the importance of the course leader comes into the picture. With some last council in her office before the weekend, I´m off trying to complete a proposal for the deadline. Thank you Åsa!

Right now it´s mostly about the method of choice, which is mainly what the E-level thesis seems to be about: making a thought through proposal and train to follow that to the point.

With that being said I´m still struggling with the former landlord that went uncomfortably silent when I called their try to cut from my deposition with a bill I haven´t seen, with a well… visible bill! Right now I´m just trying to keep that situation static, to contain it while forcing the research proposal and possibility to get income into motion. If that works I guess one can force an end to this crap-relationship, hopefully without getting robbed. Ah, it really takes a lot of energy when sitting with the beard in the post box as some Swedes say.

I´m also trying to finish the last parts and deals about the internship course. I sent the last requested info to hopefully get the sought after insignia that I´ve formally been there. Today I sent in the final report and hoping to get the formalities concerning the supervisor into a completion.

So! This weekend will mostly, hopefully, be about the research method and some minor issues.

Well, that´s about it folks!


Remembering that time is ticking I´m hurrying through lots of literature in the subject I chose, hoping that it will be enough to make this work. I´ve spent a couple of phone calls and a mail to reach potential supervisors. As of now I´m awaiting answer from one specialized in poultry fodder at my university.

I´ve still haven´t heard anything from the internship course coordinator about what´s the deal. I know that the staff has been idling, stretching skin for weeks now since Christmas break, but a bit worried still of the silence.

At the same time I´m trying to finish the deal with the former lend lord, which I just want to forget. Got a suspicious mail yesterday about cutting at my deposition for bills I haven´t even seen yet.

Things still remain quite stressful about, well everything to the next semester. A conclusion from what I´ve suffered through so far is that: when my sixth sense begins to alarm about all sorts of unserious persons – then listen to that voice! It might reduce a lot of rough rounds about well, everything from school to roofs over the head.

/That´s all

Rushing to a pause

Friday night and biding my time doing more of these small diffuse errands I´ve been doing the whole day. Lots of mails left and right about the last internship course steps. Meanwhile I´ve not concluded everything with the former accommodation. Still haven´t got my 10 000 SEK deposition back.

Watching starcraft (2) matches while idling over some printed articles about hops and it´s antimicrobial effects. Got in contact with someone today that would ask yet another someone to be my supervisor.

I believe this idea could actually be realized. If I just can get going rather fast. Will try to read some articles during the weekend to be ready for a potential supervisor first thing next week. If I make the deadline I´ll make room for a couple of weeks off. I need a break:P



Now the Christmas has reached its end and it´s time to sleep. Still lots to be done. Today I went to my other accommodation and stuffed down my stuff in boxes. It´s good to finally be rid of the room this coming week. I can just be thankful the whole thing coincided with the internship accommodation. One thing leads to another guess.

The coming week will be rather irregular with various errands alongside the internship. So far I´ve not figured out how about the “when”, but I plan to have that fixed a.s.a.p. After that I hopefully have another accommodation waiting for me and can only hope things works out during the last part of the ride. The only thing bothering me is to make that freaking deadline. Grrrrr. No preassure! School system of today^^

Very few persons within the academic world seem to care about quality, only deadlines. The school, in this case the adult childcare centre, is no exception since it´s highly tied to academic conduct. Still authorities carve the results in stone when the short-run results comes spitting out of the process. Doing long and planned runs – no one is really trained for. Believe me – I try but as so many other slow students thinking about quality, I get punished^^ Haha. Think about it for a sec! I do.

One often takes for granted that being behind schedule is a bad thing. Often poor achievement. I guess it´s true. But why is the system so keen of promoting poor, time constrained conducts that not seldom get criticized for being too short or simple conducts, for producing thought through generated data?

Just a though.


Hi again!

The Christmas holiday is still rolling. Well, right now most people are asleep though, but still one more day. That means more sleep over hehe! Yeah, the gift trading day came and went as planned. I couldn´t see anything out of the ordinary on the news anyhow. I although invited the twins for the annual hour of Christmas cartoon clips at TV in my room and was surprised that neither France nor Luxemburg had this piece of beauty. Hehe guess it goes for others as well. Still sit there fixed following the same Disney classics as usual:)

When considering my family home at my mothers’ I’ve really been fortunate during Christmas, since there has been some kind of magic about it. Can´t say I´ve been that happy about situations all the time otherwise, but Christmas was always the day when things just seemed to work. Enchanted nights in the cozy living room illuminated by the lamps in the tree, creating shadows of warmth and color around people.

Spending Christmas alone as I tend to do come rather easy for me. With a quite reduced buffet I spent the evening watching Starcraft matches online and ended with some episodes of Sunes Jul. Hilarious:) The second thing I mean, the first is more awsome^^

Although, Christmas is a tough time for many people. One should not forget that many tend to cry themselves to sleep in loneliness, sobbing over the food. Others tend to have this glorious time for reflection destroyed by alcohol, that beside being rather annoying can drive people out of their homes. Not everyone has as easy calebrating alone as me, for example. I understand their pain but would recommend those to rather take use this occasion instead.

Yeah, Christmas tend to mean very different things for people. When celebrating with others I can just recommend blending the alcohol with the fire wood, there it has a more constructive use. That tend to solve many problems – I´ve heard.

So – about the formalities! The internship is nearing its end, manifested by questions from my supervisor about final reports concerning my internship. Someone seems to be reminded about the fact that now others are about to get insight about my time here^^. Yeah it´s a relief to go on! I can say that right away.

Concerning the thesis that has been greatly suffering from the nature of the internship has got another course correction again. There´s no time to get into the field of slaughter with, well so little time. So with a rather serious deadline coming up I don´t have much choice than changing game field… again. I´m going back to laser! Not really what I had in mind and it´s not the smoothest way of approaching these issues for me. I´ve been pondering this option during Christmas and feel I haven’t much choice.

One begins to wonder if there is some kind of meaning for certain things to happen:) Or is that connection more up to the ability to make use of the situations, one person from another. Well I can only hope there´s some reason. There are after all many persons that needs to be represented and one day hopefully helped. If I could get what I wanted out of it I would get class 2 under license demand as well.

I´ve not decided what to dive into; principle of caution; scrutinizing current standing models of danger assessments; getting more selections of data into scientific manageable game fields etc. What I know is that I´ve at least a fair chance to send some basic research proposal for the deadline. With or without a supervisor^^

By the way, have you heard that Chris Metzen quit? Feel a bit sad about it since he brought me so much joy during many years.



About the thesis I after many doubts just think about following the research proposal guidelines, to get things going. Just wait with the freaking core of the thing and let it come to me. I mean, I´ve been stuck wondering how other people want me to write and having the disposition. So I just think like – ah h#ll with it! Just start up some Word doc and begin writing down some crap. Much of these things I´ve realized during my years at the adult childcare center are psychological. If one can´t patter thinks like most.. we dreamers have to… well just begin.

So with that decision made I believe I´m gonna frame some kind of reply forms about some really “important” stuff to various stakeholders and then I´m gonna be the star student of the year or something. You know – progress, not perfection^^

Feel so tired from wandering. Now it´s time to just do something. Anything:P Right now it feels as a good choice. Guess things will turn out okay after someone just correct what I haven’t “pattered” the right way or whatever. As I said to the course leader after 6 years of this “I don´t understand a word they are pattering about”, concerning this strict academic frames, that I don´t think there´s more to it than that people trained as guinea pigs don´t know how to handle free thinking individuals when met with wider mindset and other ways “of doing it” than their own, they just short-circuit.

For years one has competed on other persons terms and it feel so good that I´m finally arriving to the last step here. If continuing to doc. it´s all about framing and pattering. Knowledge or even more so… wisdom.. almost leaves the focus from that point. Henceforth one can begin to use whatever I´m made off and apply it in somewhat own terms as advisor or something, that I´m aiming for. Make the knowledge thing and just throw these models and analyze “frames” to ¤#%¤#&%¤#.

Ah. Yes, that was nice to get off my chest. Not bad actually. To get half way through the master level, still the same retard in math as I were in the elementary school, I´ve must have made something right along my road^^ Clearly I´ve built my knowledge on other kinds of patterns than others.


Another Saturday

Saturday again and sitting at Geo Centrum in Uppsala once again. In the Sustainable Development´s (almost) own library by the way. I´m seeing some other students passing outside the glass door in their own endeavors. Otherwise I´m almost alone here.

A good Saturday in other words. Just trying to warm up for my personal errands-Saturday.

I´ve been giving the thesis some more thought, but to be honest the internship is almost killing me. I´m really glad it´s only three weeks left, plus two days. Wow incredible how much energy that´s going into that right now. Meanwhile I´m bleeding energy over the thesis. I´ve at least found a plausible supervisor. Just wondering whether the guy has any time for me^^

Well, not much that´s changed in other words:P Just trying to survive this internship some more weeks.

That´s all for now!

Tnx for reading!


Weekend and I´m in one of the computer halls at the Geo center for the first time in months:) I´m trying to get the thesis thing going. Last week I met with the thesis supervisor and some things got a bit clearer.

I guess it´s time to draw the first signs in the sand how to frame this thing:) Hehe like in the morning: one three! Well in any case it’s nice to have some change of environment. Now it’s one month to go at the internship and I can say it feels so good to see the end in the same calendar sheet!

It has been a very intensive period in many ways and I hope it has been worth all the trouble. I´ve learned so much about universal good and bad in the world. Anyhow it´s December and one can tell inhabitants in Uppsala has lots of anticipation about Christmas.

I wonder although if it’s time to leave Uppsala by the beginning of the thesis for another, less crowded city. Still within Mälardalen Valley though! My home town Västerås could be a good choice, since it lying in the center of the region. It´s fairly close to both relatively big AND small cities all around. I haven´t decided though.

Well that´s the plan for folks!


One month to go


Time is flying by and I´m still behind. Hehe. The internship takes all energy right now. I visited a teacher regarding the thesis yesterday and it´s fair to say I´m in need of get things rolling. But it´s so hard to get started:)

I still have my subject and have now learned a little more of the thesis layout. Still questions to be solved but it feels somewhat more tangible now. The most important thing should be to find the question and a supervisor. I´ve got a plan!

Now I´ve began searching for a new accommodation. Again! Oh:P Yes, haha. Sigh. Now Studentstaden saw a chance to reduce their administrative costs and joined the big company´s way in town of demanding payment from people in line. Furthermore I lost many positions in the line since it was updated. So studentstaden is no longer a choice.

So now I´m kind of restricted to the private market, hoping it will prove resourceful. In that sense it will be nice to leave Uppsala for some smaller city after the studies. Then one hopefully can reduce the accommodation pressure. Hopefully that is.

One day at a time and hopefully I´ll get through after the nest semester.

Then it´s time for the job market again:P On good and bad.

Until next time

Thesis exercise

The winter is coming and even with some snow melting away it´s gradually getting colder. I just invested in some working clothes for coming weeks in the snow. With some formal delays of paper work I´m still fighting the good fight.

It was a while ago I saw any of the others. I guess we are dispersed worldwide. One or two choose to get their final exam via SLU, that I probably won´t see again. The others would be bound to come to Uppsala University to present their thesis.

I´m still a bit stuck in the emotional quagmire whether to have the energy to dig into the “how” thing about thesis disposition. Wow, these paper exercises can be so incredibly intangible to get ones hands on. People that have hardly done some ordinary work in their whole lives, devoted to frame the world into abstractions, sets up frameworks for how to perceive the tools used in the thesis. The situation is set for major collisions between different ways to perceive the reality. And in these cases the student is always wrong. Wow, I feel a bit worn down right now:)

I´ve done some years now that changes most students views about how unnecessary intangible approaches could be towards various processes of dispositions and formalities as such. While most favors this system, I feel all the time that my position still stands – only persons with great detachment of direct realities could welcome all these, well obstacles to do things one’s own way.

Speaking of sustainability threats, just as a recent post, this is really grinding my gears more and more. This is also a reason why I more and more think  that too many years at the university could be hindering real life experiences about how the world really works.

Well I guess one just have to take one baby step after another. That things are as they are doesn´t mean that I have to like it, or even agree^^

Just as in X-fusion´s Odd one out:

“(…) They call me
Odd one out
And I don’t disagree”

Hopefully it will bring some good with it for the future of all.

/Well that´s all for now

… some words of my chest

Hi again!

So, here I am again, looking up from my little rabbit whole among cows, pigs and other friends in the paddocks. It´s fun cutting and pasting but it´s not happening as often as one might want to.

I have decided to lend a word or two about Swedish money, trash and recycling carousel, beyond current status. Here the other day another fellow member on facebook had captured a picture of her beloved friend in the barn. Some words also followed. As we know humans have a way of littering. Sometimes the trash is blown out in arable fields and since Sweden devotes about 80 percent of our acreages to animals, it sooner or later reaches our friends in the barns. This time of the year. Urban people might need to figure out – why now?

There on facebook the farmer looks at her beloved friend lying among nice fresh straw gasping and screaming in pain from the bear cans grinding her intestines. Vets and personal have tried everything within their power to help. But it´s finished, even for the unborn calf. Once again the litterers win.

About the same time I see an ad on the same forum obviously stating some differences about Swedish and US waste management – about how good it seems to incinerate rather than dump in Sw compared to the bad US. At the same time Swedish power plants get paid by the tons to receive foreign unmanageable trash from other European countries.

Wow isn´t it great! Sweden is so good and proud over our waste management hierarchies. Good for us that our own soil is being targeted as dump stations for European trash… but don´t worry, the most hazardous ash is being exported. The rest will in time reach our drinking water. And if we want to keep it al natural we can just dump it at the acreages along our roads for the cows to digest! As with our domestic garbage.

Yeah, isn´t a wonderful world! At the same time I´m watching ads on YouTube favoring soy yogurt instead of that from our animals. I guess it must be so good being a vegan – supporting the crop that alongside palm oil, driving rain forest deforestation half around the whole world.

Isn´t the urbanization with its building of knowledge about the world just fantastic?

As for me I at least have figured out what to focus at in my thesis. After lots of thinking I´m letting go of the laser for now. It feels terrible at the same time as I know it might be better to do that tomorrow. The academic forum while being very vulnerable is a very poor position for to stir the pot among namely – academics.

Here the other Thursday I got my first experience from commercial animal transportation. Without blaming neither the driver nor the farmer I was so devastated being tied just as everyone else to the world market hysteria. To see the animals I´ve devoted my whole waking days to nurture, being treated as shit from the second the hatch to the truck representing the world market slid open, made my heart ache.

For how would any of the stakeholders that were involved that particular morning be able to do anything about what happened, as members of the same system as vegans and vegetarians alike, favoring money with lowest amount of payment for all products and services? How is it possible to eat meat, as part of the circle of life while being able to watch oneself in the mirror after dinner? How to address the system…

This is going to be the major theme of my thesis.

The internship otherwise is going on. Now we have gone into winter mode. This means a lot of serving of animals and repairs. I also feel that lectures from the farmers during breaks are becoming much more frequent. I feel that I´ve learned tons of information since I came here. I just hope I can make use of it for the future. That´s much up to our society´s norms and available competition space to decide. I´m less then convinced it will be an easy task to make oneself heard within this neo liberalist generation of ordinary consumers, vegetarians and vegans, choosing money before biosphere.

Watch out for the lasers out there in stores and other parts of society. Soon also in cars!

Isn´t a wonderful world?

Almost half way

Yey!  Half at sleep while writing this I´m half way through my internship course. It continues to take, well, too much of my time. I´m having literally no own life right now. The days at the farm begins at the morning and ends in the evening. Not much time for other things.

That´s just the issue again with the thesis. I´ve managed essentially nothing of what I was supposed to do at this time. I know now I want to work more with agroforestry issues firstly. But how to tie it to Sustainable Development in an interdisciplinary fashion. Wow! Many demands right now! No wonder science has been commercialized. From where else would scientists trained as dogs find money while spending months meeting up to sentence dispositions in their work. Hahahaha. So perhaps a good experience in a way also.

The accommodation situation has taken a rather sour turn. The lend lord that just wanna milk me for money, took a 180 degree turn, saying that we don´t wanna spend work power to let you off the leach. You are stuck with us greedy humans for as long as the contract says! Have a good quarter!

Perhaps the Swedish society has fallen to this level for poor students everywhere but it´s really tough being a student here in Uppsala. Most inhabitants besides students are really shamefully hard to live with. At the private accommodation market one feels pushed down in the mud all the time. And when the accommodation doesn´t work. Well then essentially nothing works. Compared with being in Scania I feel Uppsala is a greatly overestimated city. I understand that young people want to be where the shit goes down so to say but when one has done the student thing for some years… Well I don´t know. I´m rather be around nice people rather than many people. That´s at least my conclusion.

Until next time!

Thesis project

Knowing it was all too long ago I posted last time, I´m sitting in my thoughts about thesis project. Wow, it´s hard to decide:) Sunday – the first free day for two weeks with the industrial music in the background. Finally:)

It was a while ago I was to the headquarter at Geocenter but I guess things are running stable. Our thesis course managers are ending out reminders frequently about the importance to pick up where we left before the internship. But it´s so hard getting time to do it hahaha.

This internship is really taking all my time. I was done half past ten at Friday evening. Although I´m learning a lot. That´s the important thing I guess. The farm although has major problems with rats right now. One can read about that rats are infiltrating urban infrastructure now. Well it´s seem to be the same for the countryside.

This can be seen as a major sustainability problem. What if farmers can´t afford to invest in metallic grain silos? Rat poison on the way to get put of the legal market. What happens then? Can this be seen as the level of input needed to buy ourselves out of the presence of ambient environment? What message do such indicators give for the future?

Well that´s all for this time!

Learning process

Oh wow! I´m always completely finished when I come into my room after an 11 hour intensive work day. It´s hard to get some time left from the sleep. Use to drop right after the shower and a tick-check. The blogging is no exception I´m afraid.

I understand from my facebook page that school for the class mates is going steady. I´m thinking quite a lot of my thesis-start up during this semester. I´m still very unsure about whether to dive into agroforestry issues – which I want to work with. Or if I should contribute to the very skewed laser injury scientific field – which need a great boot in the butt. Into the right direction that is!

Yep! I´m in a quagmire. When one knows that both things will affect me heavily. Then it´s hard to decide. Meanwhile I´m striding on here at the farm. The harvesting period is almost done, but the seeding stages are dragging behind. It feels interesting when one begin to get some insight of what´s going on and have an own opinion about what lies behind these delays, likewise how they could have been avoided.

I guess I have to give in to the reasons to do the internship before going on into this field. One is learning everyday in a relatively fast pace in some cases. As the problem solver it´s very interesting to asking all the questions about the potential of environmental parameters and those of the conduct as such while learning. Perhaps not the best forum for personal interaction but I´m still thinking about how to do with that parameter.

This morning Antoine, the French student, left the farm. His internship in now completed and before taking on his studies in France he has a quite lot of tasks to fulfill on his family farm. With mixed feelings it seems like. As I understand his grade (unique) for him here at the farm was delightful. No more than right actually.

So the administrative tasks about accommodation and other personal matters goes on in the background when one has the time. Now I at least has talked to my lend lord and decided to search for something else. Meanwhile it´s the matter of thesis subject:) …

Well that´s all!

It rolls on

The sun is still managing to make the days warm. The harvest is still going on at the farm. Or rather as such I would say. During the bus ride home I believed all grain producing farmers was harvesting. Grains that is.

Tomorrow I´m to revisit the Geo center again for a presentation about coming events. This time it´s the last stand – the thesis. While I´m learning at a good rate at the farm it feels as a welcome brake to get some contrast. I used one such ticket yesterday when helping another producer to sell his organic vegetables and fruits at the local farmer´s market. In another town.

The good thing is that I have a home which I can be in. Breath in. Sleep in. The bad thing is that I need to use this breather to see the situation over after a new accommodation. If something happens it might be good to have somewhere else to go.

At the farm it´s right now volunteers from France and Luxemburg. Both girls – in their early twenties. Then there´s a French student in his middle twenties conducting studies at home otherwise and like me are using this as his internship. The interesting difference is that he is a farmer´s son, also in charge of various administrative parts of his own family farm – while being here. He´s good! He´s practically running this farm by his own. To have the possibility to meet him is very fortunate for me.

Well I guess things is rolling but I know better than to expects it last and need to take precautions about accommodation, foremost, in case of failure somewhere.

/That´s it for now

Summer break

Time goes on and most students have left Uppsala for this school year. Here Midsummer´s Eve is upon us. It´s going to be my first time doing the Midsummer thing in Uppsala. As usual the weather is predicted to be rather erratic. But I guess Swedes have got the hang of it by now^^

I´m relieved to tell I passed the analysis course. Even managed to get a higher grade, spite the circumstances during the exam. The Interdisciplinary course result was another turn-up. The examiners were pleased with the group quality and boosted my final grade even though I made a late submission on another task.

Right now I´m just waiting for the Discourses course results presented in August. School seems to smile at me:) It has been an interesting year, meeting such a diverse competence in the class room. To my surprise I found the Master level easier than the bachelor. It hasn´t been the same cramming as before. Rather more reflective progress during tasks.

Now I´ve applied to the offices and companies I feel a genuine interested in doing an internship at. The pressure is sky high and some has already declined. One office even managed to lose my application. Perhaps not a good working place then I ensures myself. It would be rather fitting to do the internship at Vafab – the company where the interest once begun, in my home town^^

Summer in the air

After having another last week to complete any last discourses course tasks, I still have mine left^^ On the other hand I at a less than perfect state dragged my body to the analysis course resit, completing the last heavy task for the year in my opinion. Sitting with only one other classmate, accompanied by the wonderful tunes of a hammer drill meanwhile, I used the last strength I could muster to stress myself through that bottle neck – I hope. This was the only exam this year when I really felt really, really worn down. You won’t believe how awfully tired to my very bones I was at that state hahaha.

A rather busy half remaining week with heavy lifting later, I now lie on my stomach in the new accommodation writing this post. Really like her sofa. We are going to be best of friends:D Just to think about it: An own apartment! Well, second hand but hey – it tastes just as good as any happy ending:)

Now I´ve promised myself the first weekend for weeks. From school that is. Next week I´m planning to slam the last “What about me”-cycle down and further straight through the table of the nearest course leader, formally completing this year:)

Then it´s back to rechecking the stats on the SIDA thing and mass-produce more internship applications if things might turn sour. Then the aim is to have the first formal vacation in say, ten, years of work-work. Then it´s early mornings with the lawn mower for 6 weeks at Uppsala cemetery.

Right now I´m just praying that the anti poison stick-god keeps me safe in my new accommodation!

/Until next text

A fourthnight

There has happened one thing or two since last time. Firstly I heard the other day I passed the evil math! With that part finished I can rest a little upon that accomplished lifeline. Regrettably communication about resit date has stagnated yet again.

Furthermore I passed the home exam in the Interdisciplinary… course, although with a pass owed to late submission. Things outside school have worn on me for a while so during the circumstances I feel rather satisfied anyhow. Hard to believe anyone could have managed any better actually, with one hand clapping the other shoulder.

I also managed to gain some ground in the Worldviews and discourses course. I sat during 5 hours and completed remaining feedbacks until the third and last submission/feedback circle. Today I plan to start up my discussion groups’ last study circle assignment.

The case study goes steadily on. While I was very active during initial parts, acting as a ball plank for the members for issues and questions, I now sit all back in the buss. With the deadline on Friday many feels rather pressed. I although can´t ignore a feeling of being actively pushed backwards by the others. In any case, I don´t mind too… much, since then I have time doing other stuff.

With the case, resit and a last couple of cycles left in the Discourses course I begin to feel that perhaps I´m gonna, although setbacks party with the accommodation, complete the first year on time.

Anyhow – two weeks to go and the evil math behind me! I can smell closure!


Summer´s warmth

Sunday morning and on my way to bed after a rather none productive night. Mostly ended up playing cards with myself. “It´s although a Saturday night” I told myself. May have started disappearing in front of my eyes and I wonder if I really understand that in a couple of weeks or so one going to see most of the class disappear. I haven´t spent that much time with the others though. Actually I haven´t spent any time with them, but the teachers have promised a trip to a cabin during the last few days. So who knows. Doesn´t seem to have much choice^^

I half couldn´t believe the relief of sending in the home exam during last week. It took a couple of days for me to realize that a quite big part of the Interdisciplinary course had been done. Such freedom! I feel as I´ve made a real swing back at the clutching jaws I´ve had nipping at my legs since the announcement of the task. It was rather tricky and a bit intangible but will surely serve its purpose making one more familiar with groping around buzzwords.

After a couple of days from that I asked the program coordinator being present in Uppsala, the answer about the resit day magically appeared. My knight in shining armor once more comes to the rescue. So hopefully that issue is gone from the to-do list. Last time she disarmed ignorant teachers of their laser pointers during at least one course.

The case study has, as announced, changed its course and stabilized on urban greening and I believe that course is going to hold. The emphasis is much on the framing of the method. I don’t know if anyone really has 100 percent track on what we are doing, since the different disciplinary backgrounds make things rather blurry. It´s been interesting and it seems as if people have learned from the last case study – this time everyone is more careful and perhaps even tend to listen to others adding to the approach.

Summer has come to Uppsala followed by its accompanying warmth. Flowering fruit trees in all their splendor mingled with beautiful hedges are eagerly visited by humming bumble bees. Salient green lawns colored by seas of spring flowers, straddled by strollers and bicycles in city parks´sunlight. All to the sounds of laugher and joy.

/Until next time

Final pressure

Once again some too many days squeezed themselves between the glimpses in the palantír. I hope you haven’t waited too long. The first year is approaching its end and so is the remaining stamina. That´s the reason for my late blogging. Will try comensating by writing a little more instead^^.

A few days has passed since the awaited, by many students, Walpurgis evening; or in Swedish: Valborgsmässoafton – the great folk fest of the year in Uppsala. Yesterday I mostly spent listening to students about how wasted they were since. Local news papers declared it a new record – 100 000 people celebrated Valborg in Uppsala. While most students held strictly to parks and events in thousands during the day, I did my best to avoid the most intensive parts. When the fires were lit during the evening many students joined in front of the big fire at Old Uppsala hill, before returning back for the awaited night parties at the so called Nations. Myself joined a less intensive fire cozying among young families, while watching the flames tell  its story about fates and legends long gone.

Valborg fire

Concerning school I begin to feel how much the evil math did wear on me. Regrettably I´m also having a one-way communication with the course leader in question, making me stumble in the dark about the resit date, fearing I missed it… which´s feeding the growing dislike for the course even more. Just draining energy!

I begin to wonder about prospects of completing this year in time – a concern that has kept lurking in my mind since the analysis course. Right now it´s mostly about keeping the calm and take one thing first.

Actually, I´m about to send in my home exam in the Interdisciplinary practice course this night. After sacrificing almost the whole course owed to the evil math, I feel thankful the teachers saw to it that, one way or another, we [will] read literature. Earlier experiences forced them to make it mandatory since many earlier students skipped classes for various reasons. The task was based on literature spanning social fields – a trait of the whole course. It has not been my favorite course but still one of the most important.

The Case study goes on but has changed course a few times. We natural science oriented students gave way to socially oriented ones to dynamically change the approach for the method to fit with expected analyses. This was something I have been told never to do as natural science student. This makes it interesting for me that want to incorporate other´s competence. We are on our way and much has happened the last two days.

The discourses course goes on but I´m having serious trouble keeping pace. There are articles now and then to be analyzed, while we are having a rather intensive feedback exchange within small groups of the What about me book presented before. That´s going to be my next endeavor alongside the case study when the home exam is concluded.

/Until next time

Back from the future

In the moment of swinging open the door to the CEMUS library in the middle of the night I stumbled upon the last fragments of stirrings from the Alumni meeting earlier. I had totally forgotten! There in the sofa sat the last souls from the evening´s activities, battling the sweet seduction from a shared wine bottle.

I took the opportunity to cross-examine them as they were about where their education had taken them. It was a little different; some were idling since a year or so; others worked as advisors; while some had jobs in the work sector. It was not that straight forward for interdisciplinary gifted persons to use their competence genuinely. Most laid back at their former educations and used this Master as added value.

There were although promises about a brighter future when companies had better grasped these more dynamic competences from experiences so far. Just as I thought it will be up to me to communicate my skills until companies and institutions has adapted.

The case study goes on. The group has agreed to dive into property issues for Controlled Environment Agriculture in dense built city areas as an example of urban agriculture. Some are more optimistic than others about the explosion of this hype. We are to begin with interviewing stakeholders about their willingness to rent properties for such use.

Next week we are about to visit the hydroponic cultivation project in Högdalen in Stockholm as a part of the study. Meantime we are presented the individual task for the course built on earlier course material. I have no real idea yet about the essence of it. I can only try to get as much out of the way as possible during the two days of the task.

The last CEMUS course runs its little course as we use to say in Swedish. There´s going to be a lot of small evaluating exercises done in groups. If things go as I hope it feels rather straight forward. Still I´ve to do the evil math exam but I hope the theory will be easier than the computing. So one feels quite busy with the last tasks of the first year.

/All the best

Nearing the end

Another weak has past and soon May is upon us. The Slow violence task is done. Quite fun to merge scientific writing with fiction. I took the opportunity to write about that our high sea fleets are the driving factor for laying the rail for even more trade and consumption affecting the poor. That was one of my versions of Slow violence.

This CEMUS course has been the most interactive. Next book is the What about me? by Paul Verhaeghe.  A real heavyweighter if you ask me. A book of our time where humans give each other a hard time. It opened with a case of a fellow employee being strapped in front of a car while driving around with the poor thing. Not even 20 pages and the uneasy feeling begins. An adult version of Lord of the flies.

Tomorrow we’ll visit Lake Tämnaren outside Uppsala. It has been subjected a long time for social and environmental discussions between different interests. Depending on how the visit is conducted it could be very interesting and fit well in an interdisciplinary approach. I look forward to something more delighting than the last field trip^^

I´m trying to search more internship but to be honest I´m quite exhausted. The evil math after a psychologically exhausting case study took its toll. No Christmas brake^^ I urge next year’s students to make that brake!

A little more than a month left at the program now. I know some are leaving, conducting their thesis right now. A few of those will return to work, others were disappointed.  Others are leaving too but will do their second year at home with their internship and thesis.

/That´s all for now


Spring has finally begun to secure its position in the long struggle against winter´s presence. I´ve spent the last week reading the Slow Violence book that left me quite exhausted. That´s the reason for the delay of this next blog post.

I begin to realize I actually survived the hardships with the evil math alongside three other courses. While bribing one of the leading engineers with 1000 SEK in the class to take me through this awful course I heard from him that many in the class had thrown in the towel. The evil math course had eventually teased more people than me to their limits.

With only the exam left on the analysis course I can also happily announce I passed the environmental assessment course. It feels good to be able to tap myself on the shoulder knowing I found a way through it all. The math has always had a way to force me down on my knees. A tip would be for those having problems in the subject to choose another course if possible.

The Interdisciplinary practice course goes on. After presenting various approaches and models of focus the course now have ordered us in groups, developing the last parts of our problem statements for the year´s second big case study. Once again teachers are experiencing how the interdisciplinary approach can wake to worst in group members. This time the phenomenon affected other groups than mine. At least something.

I have been contacted a couple of times now by organizations interested of recommending me as intern for their clients. Feels good to imagine a semester away from class rooms and the disgusting laser pointers that sometimes teachers cling on to as it were their teddy bear or something. Yes, I´m having some problems with the subject. I don´t think these toys have anything to do inside classrooms, especially by so called grownups.

Now I´m about to begin the Slow Violence assignment in the Discourses course. Things are going forward and doing my best to complete what’s left of this school year.

/Until next time


The spring has come to Uppsala. Yesterday I saw the Sallow´s flowers beginning to emerge. Genuine warmth is finally here. Going alongside the shoreline in Uppsala one can see migrating birds gathering in the low lands.

This week has been spent reading the Slow Violence book for the CEMUS course lecture next Friday. A real change since the evil math course feeling undertaken tasks are completed. I´m still waiting for answers from the Environmental assessment course.

The plan right now is to continue searching internships. Hehe feels as if one hasn´t had any life from the period of four courses simultaneously. One has time to take a breather between tasks. Four courses were too much. Regrettably I have to engage in the leftovers from the evil math tasks that are growling in the deep recesses of my mind. Sigh… Well a man got to do what a man got to do. Sort of.
Alnarp Park Dam

Meanwhile I´m thinking back at the years in the Alnarp Park during my bachelor, remembering old clearings within the green spaces of color.



Fresh evening air, damp and soothing filled with birds stirring has made its mark upon the days´ progressing. Dry snow has given way to humid rain bringing with it the smell of soil. The generating biosphere has finally been called upon to wake up and enrich all life so desperately dependent on it, reaching out once more for all who are waiting.

Soon the Sallow (S. caprea) will come into blossom giving aid to struggling bees, bumblebees, insects, birds and so many more – every being depending on its food in still a barren countryside and concrete bunkers. The agents that so well protecting others not least humans from diseases spread through the food web, have also been summoned. Their incredibly unthankful work owed to the latter´s strong fear for them has just begun.

Stirrings of the human animal have finally begun to settle since the spring’s call reached them. Yesterday I concluded the last scheduled system analyze lecture knowing I have failed. I can´t afford to concentrate on that now and just have to finish the Environmental assessment before the next deadline at Thursday. After that it´s just to throw myself on the exam material for the analysis course with my half bitter smile in defeat.

Sitting with the Norra Länken again having focused on other courses since; my new perspective clearly shows how much time I´ve actually put into it. Now the framing is done and with a supporting hand on my own shoulder I guess I´ve done best possible fighting so much on other´s terms last weeks with the evil math.

I will draw in the dank evening smell listening to the birdsong promising something new in my life since what feels as a very long time ago.

/Until next time


Sightings of coming spring are in the air and stirrings of people have begun to increase. Class mates are in this slightly notable high gear mode and one can feel that something about our world is changing. Just like every year.

It feels terrific to think of what lies on other side of the last evil math lecture. Still I´ve failed completing this evil plan. Right now I´m trying to focus on getting the lecture done. On the side the Norra Länken thing is to be concluded within a week. The rest have to wait.

Speaking of light, thoughts about my strive combating increasing laser problems in societies have begun occupying my mind again. Here the other day I was struck in my eyes by these new car laser-headlights in the dark – just another exposure in a long line from various laser products, e.g. laser scanners (Bar code scanners) or presentation pointers, that have made my own and so many others lives incredibly complicated.

Many in contact with eye doctors have been sold out and discredited. For a couple of years I sat in phone and by mail with scientist, eye doctors, institutions, retailers of laser safety equipment etc. from countries as US, UK, Sweden and Germany. Some conversations more comfortable than others while the medical and physiological debate raged back and forth. Soon I became one of the most educated persons in entire Sweden about documented damages alongside physiological discussions – eye doctors included. The latter regrettably continues to dodge both their homework and role in this mess.

So while school demands much of my time I´m swamped in an inner struggle whether I have energy left to raise the laser issue again in relation to social responsibilities.

/Until next time


March is upon us, and I feel the school´s slowly progress to its final stages. Yesterday the last CEMUS course – the final obstacle for the first year completion of the program, was presented. I don´t think I have any anxiety left to wonder about how this is going to play itself out. Right now it´s just one day after the next, until the first two courses in line are finished. Then one can begin to think forward.

Used the last hours yesterday searching for internship during hopefully the whole autumn semester 2016. It´s striking how different one is met by companies also contacted after the bachelor – now suddenly interested owed to the Master-thing on the diploma. Before one was just a filthy bachelor. Useless. Now you are a Master. The tone in the telephone is uplifting and focused. I had expected it easier, but this… One begins to wonder.

The summer´s will have taken the upper hand yet again and slowly the cold have stopped feeding the suffocating snow on top of the green and palpable beginning its way to blossom. The other night one could still hear the omitting sounds of drops from melting snow atop roofs and downpipes. “Still above melting point in the middle of the night”, I thought. I believe the snow going to lose this one. At least its accompanying darkness fades away leaving the ice and cold to fend for themselves.

I hope one can depicture the same situation about the studies next time. Really need some of it coming loose soon.

/Until next time


The evil math is taking its toll. Just as feared I failed finishing the next last task. Many others were afraid of the same fate I guess because the ones that demanded most help got it, holding on to the teacher for up to an hour each. Dorks like me sat without any, most of the time^^… eight hours of waiting. Hard times when the teacher favors the best ones, those that already has left the class room while we are still stuck, bleeding energy over all the other courses.

I fear I have to abort this endeavor owed to the circumstances, to deal with it later. It´s hard and irritating but life isn´t fair as at least some surely knows. I can only be grateful that the third course – Interdisciplinary practice contains so far… much information since before.

At Friday we get the fourth course in our laps and I wonder how some persons really though when they planned this. I remember one of the CEMUS staff saying something like “This is an easy program so if you want to have something out of it, it will be up to you to challenge yourselves”, or something similar. Well I can only say that I haven’t done anything else than studying since I arrived.

Time, patience and endurance are running out, blended with frustration and anger about how the analysis course has been organized… Others have been sharing my opinion, although there seems to be no questioning that I´m the one really getting burned here. Math is really not my thing, while most of the technological engineers have found it easy.

Hard times talking to the hand and still there is a fifth battle coming, besides the fourth; as good as untouched.



Yeah I know; I hope potential readers aren´t too disappointed. Somewhere along the way I was run down by my undertakings. It begun with the fourth Evil math task that sucked me completely dry of my reserve. When one´s weak the predators coming.. yeah you know the drill. One thing, on person on top of the next.. like domino.

Here I am again having a full weekly rest behind me and feeling the stamina building up in my veins yet again. I don´t think I will manage completing the fourth exercise tomorrow meaning it will be dragged behind slamming into the next task in line. So far I´m doing the “Big breath” thing in my den and mentally preparing for the evil math.DSC02662

The Norra Länken task also swamped but is now framed enough so I can begin filling in the fact. I understand why authorities have hidden it all under the carpet and why it has taken so long to fill in the blank spots. It´s amazing what a mess it was. But the big question: Will my assessment be in the best interest of the Swedish government at the time, approving the decision? Well, I can´t say but it doesn´t look good. Not good at all!

During the Weekend I also run into some euphoria thing, releasing some of the pressure. I watched Unstoppable having lain on the shelf collecting dust since 2010. Oh, what I was into a surprise! It felt just as being back at work as a newbie again and how these amazing old dogs within the logistic enterprise have learned me so much. Déjà vu! Will be forever thankful for all their advise during the years. These persons have learned me so much about the world that can´t be taught in a lecture hall. Two of them even paid me a visit ^^
Boss & colleague

That´s all for now.

Battle ships

A new week is about to start which gives me about one day to rush this thing into motion knowing it will come to a halt when the third course falls upon me. This Norra Länken thing has really proven to be a hard nut to crack but after countless of mails, phone calls and archived materials I´m finally in the state of having read it through.

I have a feeling the ones that did the scanning feel a bit worn down themselves 🙂 It has been like playing Battle ships; ” – Oh, I got your 232… – Miss!” (Having the content page in my lap). Sometimes they messed the numbers up, sometimes I messed them up. I could almost hear a “Sigh” on the other side of the screen, while hoping they would put up with it. Issue by issue… page by page…. now finally done!Scanned strategical docs

It´s not often nowadays I study during weekends. After mistreating both mind and body during the bachelor I lost the taste for the mainstream hunting grade-thing. So at least I take it easy on that part. If the employers turn me down because pass grades – then so be it! I´ve done my student obligation in the arena of running around and act hysterical. This time I just want it done.


New insights

Winter is back in Sweden sweltering any traces of warmth along hopes of spring. In a single night the tides turned. Capriciousness of the Swedish winter alongside school goes steadily on. The last SLU course coming round the corner next week. Within a fortnight last CEMUS course rolling in ending the queue for this year.DSC02652

Yeah, one can feel just as promised how the time slipping away. Still I haven’t finished the environmental assessment, nor are all the computerized system models ready. Beside there´s an exam slowly progressing. Soon we are dealing with the fact having three courses simultaneously.

As I expected we got graded on the Man, Society and Environment course today. While I liquidated the issue in a seconds the others.. well.. would continue whatever it is they have been doing. Not my headache anymore. I´m finally free of it.

I´m actually looking forward completing my assessment now when the studies makes sense again. Things progressing so smooth! Even passed today’s system lecture. It’s not much left!


Mornings carrying some rejuvenation are dropping by through the window a little earlier every day sending its warm greetings, while winters´ disappearing presence still defies by taking back some of its lost temperature. Morning chats in ever increasing sunny corridors outside classrooms have been manifested by Swedish ambiguous weather.

It feels good that there have been talks about words from the Man, Society and Environment course of passing the class now waiting for the formalities. It has been a tedious group dynamics that have pounded on both body and soul. Hearing that everyone now hopefully can go their own way is more than welcomed.

Yeah! Sometimes confusion between disciplines can take sour turns. I now understand why SLU has been labeling itself as one of the very best universities of natural resource management in the world. That became very obvious this time. Bittersweet serenity is blended with some promise of being free 🙂

At the same time the Norra Länken task and yes… even some of the evil math have given way. It feels at last as I have breached through, giving justice to my endurance.

For the first time in weeks I feel as if I´m beginning to climb on top of things again!

/Until next time



With another study week past & gone I can lean back in the computer chair and look forward to some well deserved taco shells later. No studies this weekend.

After multiple days in relentless research in various databases without breakthrough I heard from the first body of institution in line I begun to call over the phone that: “Oh, yeah the quality research about Norra Länken (one of northern Europe´s largest tunnel projects in high densely built areas) – that data we got rid of years ago”. … … So without even having finished the ten year, so far, project, research supporting the decision to engage with the heavy criticized endeavour is more or less gone from most authoritative institutions^^ Speaking of sustainable heritage!

With the phone going warm during Thursday and Friday between county boards, governmental institutions and departments, legal representatives, researchers being authors to long gone half forgotten papers or articles, etc. things finally begun to unravel this mystery.

One dusty paper after another declaring governmental and other  institutional decisions about the matter over the years were scanned form archives and sent to an enduring students´mail during the time span of a couple of days. I´m waiting for more primary sources next week from another archive.

In the end I managed to drop the papers I was assigned to compile in the teachers drop box around yesterday at midnight. No stress:) I also had some enjoyment reading a couple of hour´s fiction before descending into some well deserved sleep.

That´s all until Evil chapter 2 on Monday – more rabbits!

Looking ahead

With the Thursday´s slow progress into evening I can tell with fact in hand that my deadline for yesterday remained intact. Almost at the end of the teachers so called lunch, forty five minutes after booked schedule we measured each other´s gaze in front of the computer screen and felt we had arrived.

At the next last task in line containing a very simple.. obviously.. programming allowing for dynamic change within a system containing rabbits and regrettably for their sake hungry foxes, one has to know when to let it go. To visually see the spectacle had to be left to the classmates ahead of schedule, already away for lunch half way through the next booklet of upcoming Insidemaker tasks. One has to take things for how they are on good and bad I guess. I´m through evil chapter one!

The good thing is that now I can finally begin compiling references for the Environmental Assessment course. Hopeful not to ramming into someone else´s theme I have decided to write down some lines (6-10 pages) about the infrastructure route “Norra Länken” in Swedish in Stockholm; our beloved concrete bunker one and a half hour due south. Guess the translation to English could be something like: The northern underground pass.

It has been a controversial project for decades in favor for the ones believing in what I would call “consumption out of ongoing over consumption” and of course the freedom of unrestricted mobility owed to making free way for the car.

That feels like a good description about the bearing for next time!

Fighting the good fight

The second week of the new courses is nearly done. The good fight against the evil math rages on while I´m dreaming about better times. Good times for the ones fond of numbers though. Feeling that I´m really begin to miss biology, biochemistry, anatomy etc. from the SLU bachelor; a science oriented discipline one actually understand.Sustainable development Uppsala universitySpent the Friday night hours in one of Uppsala University´s houses, figuring out how to hopefully kill this math-task-thing until no later than Monday so I can for the first time do something on the other course which has its first deadline on Friday. 

It feels good that winter slowly goes towards spring. I also see that the semester starts with another reward for SLU according to the university course page. Seems as a nice starting point for the second semester. Just gonna survive the math some more weeks now. I can begin to see distant light in the tunnel 🙂

Surely served me!


I remember I wished for more practical drills this semester. Well I surely got what I asked for. A whole morning with excel exercises and the night after I´m still having headache. Many others, especially the practical oriented engineers seemed real happy for the first time meaning that finally there was some challenge.

Knowing there will be four more challenges promised to go deeper into excel management without having finishing yesterday´s lecture´s tasks, this is going to be a…. course if one isn´t into math.

Meanwhile mosts classmates are hissing on about the other course which seems to bother those more – the Environmental assessment course with its ongoing essay. Well I guess we all are strong and weak about our respective abilities.

My own is going to be my old arch enemy: MATH!!! We shall see who stands and who falls! I for one feel really really beaten up for the first time in this program.

In the end I although came here to learn so guess the time is well spent.

All for this time!

Welcome to the first frontier

Welcome to the MSD program blog!

4 months done and just as much to go… This year! Good work Erik! Shall see if one can manage to find some internship next autumn, which would mean nearly zero classrooms next year. This semester we´re going to spend most time at Ultuna (SLU) which means lesser favorable mornings. It also means a little more intense studying by various reasons. The 10.15 mornings at Uppsala University has been greatly diluted by 08.00 (sharp-mornings). New semester; new tasks and thereby new issues to get confused about together depending on one’s background since before.

The first 30 credits are nearly done. The class still wrestles the Christmas (holyday) resilience oriented group works that´s being dragged along. The new courses: Environmental assessment and System analysis for sustainable development just came round the corner and I must say I have a some trouble sorting out the two right now. Just as it should be obviously.

The new word is “systems”. I´ll count systems along with the sheep during nights soon. Focal systems and wicked problems from talk the talk still lingers like a song still clinging on to my brain.

Yeah, welcome to the first frontier of the MSD program or rather Masters ‘program in sustainable development! Here´s the program for you that favors social sciences with an overarching interest to feel some pressure over few glimpses of natural resource management tasks and chemistry passing by now and then. For me with a science background with major abilities in biochemistry, soil science and landscape management etc. I hope there could be a little more of walk the walk this semester.

Well that´s all for now!