Lack of work experience among academics at institutions?

I was thinking about that when one search for a job within institutions, which I have – the experience from any working sector seems unnecessary. Perhaps others have experienced this as well when adding or compensating knowledge from studies with experiences from work? I have wondered many times whether one was to see any consequences about this attitude among employers representing their service sectors.

Now I actually came across an episode from a Swedish journalist series named Uppdrag Granskning – which could be translated as Mission Inspection. I witnessed how Swedish farmers were harassed by veterinaries and animal inspectors about the health of their animals. The conclusion by clinical studies was that by means of data from bone marrows and autopsies nothing was accurate from visual inspections of the animal health.

The reasons for these unjust rulings from veterinaries and animal inspectors were total lack of experience from both animal anatomy and their preferred behavior. Clinical studies presented in the program stated in absolute terms that both latter competences in these two cases had resulted in totally wrong decisions – culling and changed ownership by the force of law.

This is a very good example of how valuable experience within the field one represents as an academic really is. Still I feel when laying strong value to work experience for jobs at institutions that it is considered unnecessary for the duties.

Just a thought.

I insert the YouTube material here from the program episode. It´s in Swedish but perhaps some get a good opportunity to practice^^


Welcome back

Hi! Again!

Can begin to welcome all back after the holidays of summer jobs and holidays. I also want to welcome the new ones to the world of academics and science. Here we are again and a new year takes its start.

Even if not attending personally in Uppsala anymore, things are progressing in their little lanes here as during the last year. Actually for me too it’s a new phase. After some discussions with my evaluator I understand now it´s best to take what I have, make a new angle and start over. Yes! It feels a bit bitter but I guess it could be for the best.

The thing is that even though I´m using data about expectation of bacterial resistance towards narasin in broiler production, it´s not enough as evidence to base my thesis on. So it´s just to grab the bull by the horns, spit in the hands and wait for the fat lady to sing a while longer.

Hopefully I will be through with the thesis this year at least. I really want to get it done now. Things are not as exciting as they were during the bachelor. About the eyes, lasers and possibilities to go through with it, I actually got my hand on laser lenses now. After years of building my trust with relevant institutions I can finally feel some kind of control over my life. It´s just about 10 times reduction (the other extreme is about a million times reduction). Although they will surely be better than nothing in the grocery store next time.

I have finally worked what I promised at my work and can finally sit down since a week and rest off months of work. I have been licking old and new wounds now and I am trying to force myself to engage into the thesis again tomorrow. It will start with changing the introduction.

So, that´s about it!

P.S. I am about to get my hands on the Metro 2035 xD

Fast report


Time is passing fast and I´ve been rather tired for some time. Doesn´t manage the blog even nearly as often as I would want to. Anyhow I sent a very simple draft to the supervisors. As it looks I have some work to do about that. Anyhow it was in good grace I got the comments so feel good. I´m pretty sure I want make the deadline though.

My job is taking lots of energy and can´t say I enjoy it very much most of the times^^ Although I learn a lot which I hope to use in the future at my own terms.

I´ll be dropping in from time to time and fill in on how things progressing.

Have a nice one!


Last station

I accidently swamped for a time. Now I´m here again.

What has happened? I am still working on my thesis with an extended deadline. Since I struggle with this eyes thing, endeavors take more time for me. Here the other week many class mates came together again and presented their thesis. I can´t say more than that, because I don´t know more than that. I didn´t travel northward to see the presentations. I can only guess there is much relief right now. As the plans are now I will present after the summer in my own pace and own way. Keeping my fingers crossed here:)

I´ve also got a job since some weeks back at a plant nursery blended with a garden center. These guys have stood knee deep in the mud their whole life producing hundreds of thousands of plants each year. I learn a lot, not least about lost connections to old ways of sustaining our selves. I suffer lots of drawbacks about old ways of livelihoods and get some points made as well in discussions with these veterans.

As I felt during the internship at the farm I had forgot how much I lost from my life since the paper exercise began with lots of physical inactiveness in front of the screen while stretching skin. So I feel in relation to my lost trust in genuine science and eye problems that I probably will be one of those that deviate from a 100% scientifical path.

I guess that time will tell. Now I have a serious cold that keeps me in bed since a couple of days. The consequence is that I´m typing this in the middle of the night because I slept the whole day. Nothing new for me though when I´m in school.

The thought of getting passed this bottleneck of the Master level feels as a relief. I recall the narcissistic attitudes from people within this costume enterprise excluding me on the sole principle of being a shitty Bachelor. Right now I´m doing this more for personal development rather than for being credited. As with the issue of sustainability in science these days I feel that it´s time perhaps that the Romantic finally after competing 25 years on other people’s terms finally can develop his own way, with an open channel between.


Treading on

Here I am, writing and reading about hops, a major part of my thesis. I feel I have mustered enough info soon to just spit it out on paper and begin with the theoretical framework and other stuff. Ah, I must say it´s a bit tricky, this very strict code of conduct.

Well I came to learn and so I have. Although I feel that it´s very much idealism right now. Wow. It´s almost hard sometimes to see this realism in the middle of all these ways of choosing how to classify right or wrong.

With the Death Hour from Nolongerhuman in the background I´m just letting the writing take me somewhere without much info about where I´m going. I guess this is why no frame looks like another among the student works I´ve read so far.

At the same time I´m trying to avoid getting paranoid from my landlord asking about where I´m going all the time so she can give me a baby sitter to guard the newly arrived guest when I´m alone. At least she´s not almost hostile as the former one was in Uppsala:P Although I´ve put in another ad again for new accommodation^^

One baby step at a time.

/Until next time

Which path to follow?

Hi again!

I see that the Sustainable thing is getting more incorporated into the working market for each day. At various Facebook pages I follow, these kinds of jobs keep popping up. Today I saw that the Swedish Board of Agriculture was searching for someone with lots of interests and knowledge in plain landscape management through our agricultural practice for example.

Somehow I get a feeling that these kinds of spots in foremost companies will increase. Many include the urgency to have the ability to communicate and uphold sustainable values. So it feels good in a way that there is after all some wills at companies to get up of old wheel tracks.

The future will tell how well this succeeds in relation to human behavior. My thoughts go directly to T2 when the human ask the infiltration unit about its own maker.

/All the best. Sincerely!


Hi again! Time for another report about what´s happening.

As usual I´m writing on the thesis. Just changed accommodation as well. I can´t complain to get out of the former one. Now I´m living in another city and can look back at the time in Uppsala private accommodation market. To be honest Uppsala for me was very problematic when it came to private accommodations. I didn´t like my landlords and I can´t say they liked me very much either. For me it felt as a very overcrowded city with lots of frustration among people.

If I could manage the poison sticks I would surely had lived in a common student corridor rather than private accommodations in the city. What I will miss with Uppsala is the fancy trails in the woods that I used to orient around, but I believe that´s the only thing.

Now I´ll explore this city while continuing to write on the thesis. I begin to get the hang of things finally. It has been a very intangible to get the hands on right headlines and stuff. Also I have some kind of orientation about further disposition which feels rather nice actually.

I see on the mail that class mates are wondering about mandatory sessions concerning presentations and stuff, that give me some hints about that many are abroad. For me although the presentation date will most surely be set to autumn. It has been a stormy second year and it´s just natural that the deadline will be affected.

Well, that´s it folks!



Since last time I´ve continued working on the thesis. Even took the time to visit Geo center for a quick errand. Although I saw only one of the class mates. Guess everyone is home writing on their stuff. After all, this is the final course, then we are done with the program.

I myself am trying best possible to get things done. This whole week and a few days more has been spent managing lots of errands. It was a long time ago I had one of these, just drop everything and begin putting out fires, kind of a thing. Guess it has been necessary although. A couple of days more now and I hope to be back on the original track again.

Well not much more to be said.

/Until next post



First off; concerning school I´ve made some major breakthrough the last weeks. Ah I love my beautiful eyes that manage so strongly to function. Oh I just love them.

Here the other day I was as agreed with the course coordinator to the eye doctor again. Very reluctantly I can say. Today I´m thinking back at the discussion with the eye doctor with his candidates between, turning their heads between each argument back and forth.

Here you have some good thoughts from other sources concerning threat assessments about lasers. Some of the points there are not agreeing with mine. I although believe no matters who are right or not that it serves as a good platform for getting into the discussion for those interested.

Now I´ve visited three cities’ eye doctors in Sweden. Just as before I can with lots of doubt just conclude what has been concluded before. Firstly the patient´s perception doesn´t matter for them. It´s always some other explanation for eye problems caused by lasers. More than for me that is.

Also their update about deregulations of lasers hasn´t kicked in. Still believes that one can´t get ones hands on dangerous lasers in our society… That one has to go to Asia to buy those. Still I can order anyone I want from Swedish companies that doesn´t even bother to check for licenses.

That´s two bummers for our white coats so far. The third is the unwillingness to meet arguments scientifically. There´s just a more firm tone to conform that the other one is wrong, as if that would increase how the same argument holds up… It´s so sad actually.

I as part of the academy searching for a sustainable use of lasers am completely invisible in the patient room. That´s if anything is not sustainable. Preferably eye doctors also should consider, as I mentioned to him, patients’ subjective perception instead of being 100% objective.

Now we´re also landing in the plain discussion of how healthy it has been for science to get ripped of subjective traits. Is it really an entirely good thing? We have been touching that subject multiple times in class during the first year.

I´m mean; what can I say. I can´t say the doctor did wrong by checking my eyes, finding no visual deviation. Especially since I have begun avoiding the retina scan owed to insane hyper sensitivity. Very neat although that the candidates managed to subject my eyes for what I believe was a AF ttl laser through the fancy camera they had coupled to their tools.

One stress after another. Will this laser nightmare ever end? Even in the patient room. Come on!

That´s that folks!


While spending every other day freezing owed to the erratic weather changes the thesis is slowly progressing ahead. Typical for April. I begin to get the feeling for this poultry thing now and a few headlines have been proposed in my doc. Even though we studied some agricultural production we only touched onto animal husbandry. So it´s very interesting to study something one hasn´t really delved deeper into before.

I watched some of the installation presentations by the new professors at SLU today at the web. Safely away from the laser pointers they were openly wrestling to master. Yes, I don´t stand for this irresponsible usage in the class rooms. Grownups should know better!

Here you have the link to the presentations. Perhaps they will contain subtitles in the future. As of now they are all in Swedish. Sorry I see they have moved it. If you find it faster than me on the homepage, knock yourselves out:) Regrettably recordings seem to be held by different institutions, so they are spread all over.

Anyhow it was much oriented around animal science with a lot of information ranging from animal husbandry to human consumption patterns and relation to food. Some had quite interesting presentations, both as such but also since I had hard times agreeing about approaches to food safety.

For example one of the professors started with presenting this old food gap set by FAO to 70% in the future, so many years ago. I remember I used it in my thesis as well at the time. I think it´s too bad many pinpointed changes in food consumption and a demand for willingness to pay for what the production cost, as alternatives to press the efficiency in the production. Isn´t a change in our behavior the number 1 most important change in the whole list?


Perhaps you have realized that our world is suffering from the presence of humanity´s way of life. One thing we didn´t talked about in class was the use of antibiotics in animal husbandry.

Have you heard its use is to produce cheap food? Anyone that has heard about that in many countries much of the same antibiotics used for human health care is also used for animals in commercial agriculture? Do you know that organisms here on earth are trying to adapt to substances such as poison and other active substances hindering their life? Do you know the consequence is resistance?

I can tell you that the same thing goes for bacterial exposure to antibiotics as well. Perhaps we can skip the whole biochemical class right now concerning the factors that explain the buildup of resistance in organisms, as within us, about say plasmids in the bacteria.

I you wonder about what most of the antibiotics contribute with for the production it´s not in a global scope to keep the animals healthy in a clinical sense. It´s to maintain the best possible weight gain by the animals which in a global competition gives the farmer an upper hand.

So to not fall down into a world of constant disease and freaky looking anomalies of not least the epidermal tissues, what need to be done at an agricultural level to avoid that doom?

Well I can tell that there are mainly two ways. One is to adapt the production to the outstanding animal health system we have in the Swedish production. Sweden has shown so many other countries it is possible to cut down almost 100 percent of antibiotics used in animal production.

The other just as important, if not of equal importance is falling onto the rest of the society; to pay what it cost to produce in a sustainable manner. As of now many farmers in the commercial agriculture has subsidies as you may have heard about. This in turn came among other factors from the demand of cheap food. Perhaps you can feel how this sinister loop just took us back right to the start of this discussion of antibiotics in commercial animal husbandry?

If we want to continue living in the way we do we need to invest in animal husbandry in many ways. Next time you go to the store, don´t buy the cheapest alternative just because you can! Just a tip for your own health.

/Until next time


Hi again!

You know, I´ve been wondering about this world we live in. Our society. I remember my presentation I had of my own idea of societal change in a small group last year. While talking of different economical systems, different ways of evaluate companies, other channels between employer and employee in relation to resource management, many in our little group shone up.

My idea as a romantic was to shake things up among others and present all these ideas that systematically would rebalance the society. Don´t you agree that a constant growth of the economy will rip everything of our planet even if making most our money from thin air? Yeah you can think about that one even at a basic level if you hadn´t heard of thin air.

What if other values as say social ones could balance up for a constant growth? What if a company at the stock market that has half the turnover of natural resources as another one is still valued the same in monetary terms? All owed to lend say nearly free labor to other parts of the society like farmers that would need work force for environmentally sound cultivation systems.

Today people are so inactive that even young ones begin to have problems. Think of how these work environments out in the fields of flourishing green would alleviate psychological problems within the concrete bunkers, when people could happily work themselves tired. Imagine how much the costs for health care could be reduced.

The social systems are like so many others, they just need to be balanced to work properly. If taking for example heart medicine which might cause bi effects; would it be any problems if the rest of the body would be balanced at a biochemical level for the intake of the bioactive substances you are devouring?

Would it be a good world to work 4 hours as a lawyer and the remaining four in the agricultural fields each day, coming closer to the food you eat? Would it be good to do it in relation to the work as well for simple management of the salary? Do you think the world’s population would earn on learning how to produce your own food?

Do you think we would reduce much of our consumption in our over consuming society if spending more time resting from the work in the fields each day? Instead of bying stuff that is. How many planets regenerating capacity are we using in Sweden in our everyday life?

/Just a thought


Something that has caught my attention since I moved to Uppsala is the inhaling of poisonous fumes. For days now I have paid attention to the clouds that leave my lounges after a set of cars has passed me on the road. One can see that others too suddenly exhale the emissions from traffic around Uppsala. This moist that suddenly appears after a car has passed a set of people on the pavement, spreading like the Wave among soccer supporters.

During the first year of our education we were told during our juridical session that Uppsala is an issue grinding the gears of the EU machinery. The Kungsgatan road, partly passing by the central station has to high emission values.

It can´t be very healthy to live in this city actually I begin to get a feeling of. Now many car owners have upgraded their cars during the last year of favorable interest rates. Since many have invested in diesel cars one can now more than ever taste this sour stench on the tongue from the cold starts done every morning and every afternoon of these diesels.

We have extended the infrastructure system more than ever in Sweden. Not least in Stockholm as I mapped via the endeavors with the Northern Link. Uppsala is the city of the cars. So far it doesn´t seem to get any better, or any restrictions for cars what so ever.

Here we are in Sweden, extending our car infrastructure while other countries erase their highways through big cities in for example Asia. In South America there have been some very clear progresses to restrict cars in favor for many unprotected road users.

In Uppsala we´re building more multi level car parks than I´ve ever seen in a single city. Of which I have been into the construction enterprise myself. Why is one of the most enlightened cities in Sweden so stuffed with competence going the straight other way for a Sustainable development for combating climate change?


Oh, wow! I´m in some way back on the horse again. Sitting and picking up the pieces from where I left before the last strike in the eyes. Now it all comes back to me. The frustration about all these ideals within especially social sciences.

I mean “Theoretical Framework”. Have you ever heard anything as abstract? I as a Romantic am in real trouble here. Hehe. A great tip for anyone thinking about taking this program. Don´t make the mistake and think that social sciences are easier than natural sciences. All these ideals.

As of now I´m sitting with a couple of thesis templates as we got from one of our teachers and cross checking the two, while trying to follow the instructions. Many class mates I remember the last time I was in the fight, were really, really worn down by all these chains.

Hehe it feels half impossible just to get started. As it seems now I begin to get some kind of frame. Still I need to adapt this frame to the needs of “my” thesis. It seems as more time is being wasted just by trying to fold myself to all these ideals within science, rather than producing any results.

/Until next time



The thesis is going forward. The weather is getting sunnier. So far things have shown some signs of improvement. Also I managed to find a very fitting video from the Married with children series.

Many times concerning Sustainable Development there is an overarching debate between supporters of so called strong and weak sustainability. It´s essentially about what sacrifices people should do when balancing the trinity within Sustainable Development. Some press on about that parts of the biosphere could be traded for other interests such as economic owed to beliefs in say the economic system to lift poor people. Others say that, no, the biosphere can´t be traded for money – no biosphere no life!

I think this short contribution from one of the series I´ve favored the most highlight one of the debates I´ve been very much into. This is about weak sustainability in relation to belief in technological quick fixes to avoid changing our consumption patterns. In the middle of it all we have the human craving to become famous.

Furthermore it´s actually very funny^^ Perhaps you owed to the angle of the clip can figure out where a guy with his major in Biology stand in such a debate?


Setting course

For the first time in many weeks I´ve made some break through about the thesis. I tried to push for at least 2-3 hours each day and have now returned the thesis proposal. The midterm report is to be sent in tomorrow when I´ve finally got in touch with my evaluator about presentation date. I´ve a strong feeling it will be set to after the summer. Well, we´ll see. As of now I just feel so happy that the eyes begin to give some sign of healing. I´m so proud of them:):)

It feels good to think about that everything until the thesis has been done at least. That gives some mobility if to get a part time job or something at another place. I can take this with me wherever I´m going.

Feet down and head up I´m travelling on. Hoping that there´s some kind of meaning to all this; this suffering from lasers in the society. I know that more than me are suffering in different magnitudes. Hoping to leave all that behind me with a Master diploma and some recognition of fighting some kind of thing that very few are cut out for. Would mean a lot if the whole history would mean something.

As of now I´m just trying to stay on track.


Swedish food and SLU

Yeah, sorry to say I´m in the biggest drop in efficiency I´ve been into in three years right now. So in lack of some real school progress to report I can at least mention that various international prices to SLU continue to role in. With a history the last years of climbing the ladder in various themes internationally, SLU is now by the account of QS Top Universities at the fourth place in the subjects: agriculture & forestry.

I’m not surprised actually. My experiences from the master class of representing food strategies and human cultures´ dependence on biosphere, has clearly increased my confidence that I can trust my knowledge from SLU. I can´t say I share the mainstream worldview among SLU students in various subjects, but hey, isn´t that what a good education should be able to give you – an own worldview that can be scientifically discussed with others.

This make me think of our Food Strategy that was presented the other month in Sweden. I believe that many farmers in Sweden feel a bit bi polar towards what it brings with it. Lots of discussion I see on various blogs among farmers goes towards the subject nationality in relation to federation via EU. I myself felt that opening up soils our famers use to international land grabbing feel very in the scope of what many high authorities in EU mandate feel are in their interests, rather in the farmers´.

I just love how the authors are presenting cultivation systems and the spatial agricultural area in Sweden in relationship to their knowledge of cultivation systems. They want to keep the door open for more environmental cultivation systems but continue to refer to an old discussion of organic vs. conventional, while denoting a decline of agricultural area owed to other land usages. Too bad that these so called other land usages fulfill very well as more sustainable than the current ones, but are still not to be considered agricultural and thereby not entitled subsidies.

Planet Ocean (2012) show very well where current global food strategies has tagen us. Now Sweden want to tag along down the drain. Planet Ocean credits.

It´s very sad that even though the authors want to include all three dimensions of sustainability into their strategy, they still favor only one – economical – owed to their will to still serve food to cheap prices at an international market.


AF lasers

So we meet again! Had the feeling:) Welcome back in that case!

I have included some new information concerning laser development in the society. This time I´ve focused on low effect output camera AF-lasers by diving into various forms of literature in the issue and communication with technical authorities at many famous camera developing companies.

Follow this link on Google and click the picture option to see what you are getting in your eyes. Observe that you can´t see this wavelengh when it´s IR. SO BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO STARE FOR THE SOURCE OF THE LASER CLUSTERS. NEVER STARE INTO A LASER SOURCE – EVER!!

Just got another hit in my eyes by a teenage girl hunting a photo to post on some internet forum I guess. Of course everybody was to know about what she was putting into the stomach there at the Café. So after getting another taste of lasers in my eyes, they are rather sour now. Not much happens in front of the screen right now. Lots of pain in my poor eyes back and forth. All these f¤”k#ng lasers!

So after some hours in front of the screen chasing technical info sheets about where, when, how and why lasers have been installed in every other new mobile phone autofocus camera system, I did a spree around some towns in the region asking retailers if they knew.

100 percent of the interviewed persons had no freak´n idea about that people are getting sprayed with cl. 2 laser clusters every other time a mobile phone user takes a picture today. As usual I had to educate them about everything that has to do with wavelengths, colors and risk assessments before even beginning getting some questions about lasers.

I also sat in the phone for hours and installed aliases for mailing various camera developers: Nikon, Canon etc. Of course they had no idea about what their own products included in terms of hazardous radiation sources. After serving the technical so called experts at each of those companies with everything they needed to know to tell me what cameras that used active autofocus including laser systems, they of course were not allowed to answer. Hahahahaha. Of course they don´t want to lift the question at an authoritarian level in these companies. As long as people don´t asking any questions – why come clean?

So my hunt for information about camera models without the AF-lasers continues in uphill. Any other person than me that has felt the eyes cramping when some new mobile phone goes “click” in front of you? Can promise you that it is not funny!

Political troubles

Yeah, I know. Time passing by very fast many times and here I am trying to catch up. Well, at least I can sleep during nights again and it feels as if I might have got about an hour plus, in front of the computer each day. Perhaps I can try to compensate the delay although with a little longer section this time, about Swedish politics.

When watching the news today I came to think about the issue and felt that perhaps it would be good to go over some points concerning that topic. Many tend to believe that Swedes are rather well educated. When entering politics lots of people here feels suddenly very, very lost. In my opinion that´s true. Swedes seems to a great extent to suffer from the self centered worldview that is to a lot extent experienced through Google at their phones. This is giving lots of charismatic leaders space to sell easily sold points built on low quality facts to their own parties, which in turn causing lots of confusing among Swedes that no longer follow that what really is happening in the political chamber during daytime.

As of now the all so stable Swedish governance system has experienced one crisis after another where many voters have felt driven over owed to too many collaborations between political parties partly not voted for and too much foul play by some parties. One of those hot spots was the former governments´ action to bypass the bureaucratic system for starting the wolf hunt, which has been a very, very sour spot for continued trust in the system.

Sweden has for as long as I can remember had a number of stable parties represented in the parliament. Others come and go, struggling to keep enough mandates. They still are: the Left party; Green party; Social democratic party; Centre party; Liberal party; Christian democrats; Moderate party; and the addition of the: Sweden democrats, recent years. The order more or less represents their left/right winged positions in relations to others with the extremes on each side.

These parties are readily splitting themselves into two groups with the breaking point between the Social democrats and the Center party, by the name Alliance since 2006 at the right side and a less pronounced name for the left winged ones.

Before mentioning how much Sweden has changed from 2006 to 2017 I should also mention that many here support this new societal direction for Sweden while others don’t. This with the very individual oriented mindset has created an identity crisis for what sort of a society Sweden should represent internationally.

So! From a situation where everybody seemed to know exactly which parties to vote for and what to expect, to the position where most people wonder what´s going on…

Prior to the 2006 election many were displeased with the Social democrats, being very strong in their political position. When I begun my military service the same year lots of the young people cheered when the Moderates (at the time the most extreme right wing party) was elected and together with the three other parties proclaimed the so called Alliance. One year later when we were done, not that many were that happy anymore. Even outside of the military when I came back to the real world many young people were displeased for their vote at this very extreme party.

Had the promises about a new gentler political agenda just been empty words? Lots of sick people that got their subsidies revoked, lots of money being transferred from international aid, not much financial help to small companies after all. How could this be, many of these young people wondered? Everything that this guy (Reinfeldt) said sounded so good! He seemed to be on top o things!

This was the starting point of a development still going on where many Swedish people realized that our system had become very untrustworthy or even in some issues like the wolf hunt, corrupt. Except for the latter part, I would say that nothing than the voters interest to take responsibility for their freedom to vote, had changed. Swedes have for many years made lots of fun of US voters that tend to believe any smear campaign toward the other political field. Now it seems as many Swedish people independent of age are in the same position as many young ones; they have become ignorant. Shouldn´t the parties stand for what they have promised?

Regrettably as a Swede I actually think that common knowledge in Sweden has fallen to such a question. With a rampant accommodation crisis since people with no subsidies are forced into big cities for work, lessened taxes to public health care and social protection systems many Swedish people are living in the world they have created for themselves. Many stand for this development proudly though.

Of course many are still looking for an escape goat. Of course it must be the politics as such that has gotten so rotten, right?! So now many are protesting by supporting the so called Swedish Democrats. At least they are going to punish all the immigrants… right? Do you think that most people voting for that party know that they are running an ever more right winged political agenda than the Moderates concerning even Swedes?

The fault is always someone else’s when it comes to politics. Even among voters.


Moving on

For the first time in many weeks I have made something significant toward picking up the trail of the thesis proposal since I faltered. It´s hard to know how to approach this last lap of the education – the last course. At least it feels as some kind of break through.

Regrettably the course leader begin to send posts about coming deadlines around the corner. Gosh. Well I guess one has to keep the calm and try to work the problem best possible.

I have mailed some of the leading authorities within Swedish health care science towards laser, trying to speed up their process a bit by posting information back and fourth. As usual I guess they haven´t taking the time to do that themselves. Sorry to say I haven´t heard anything from the eye doctor in question. What more can one do?

Yesterday I got this letter that suddenly enlarged my own world. This kind of letter that makes your heart to jump a couple of times, before realizing it wasn´t a catastrophe. Although still serious. As we know the heat has returned to the world again where west and east are dividing the world with Syria as baseline. We that have done our military service in Sweden got this letter reminding us that big Sam hasn´t forgot about our duties, demanding us to confirm our responsibility. No one knows how things are going to end. Can only hope the world remember enough to avoid a third world war.

Although in the middle of all the hardships I got contacted by Viva la France and Pocahontas from the internship course. It feels good in such times to remember the twins. As it looks now we are to have a little reunion in Uppsala over some food tomorrow evening. It would be good to have something else to think about for a minute or two.


Tie the bag together

Time is ticking and I´m trying to get a heading on the situation. I spend much time just mustering. I met the supervisor and got feedback on the core from the examiners´ points to my proposal. Thoughts were mostly about the reason for exploring the issue. So I guess I´ve to dive deeper into it. Regrettably for me, my interest is not enough, hehe.

While resting the eyes from the static effort focusing onto screen and paper I have come a long way towards finishing Starcraft Brood war campaign where the eyes can work more dynamically. Sorry to say it don´t hold the quality as that in Starcraft. Far from it!

Meanwhile when having time, I´m thinking about the bachelor and being at square one again after the Master. The season is about to begin within the horticultural and agricultural sectors. Contacts begin to pull left and right. Pruning, cultivation, services, mainly. During the master program I have been representing green enterprises in the class, mainly agriculture. That SLU in my opinion discrediting our program compared to others is just as maddening as it was during the bachelor. Very frustrating actually.

Soon the Master is over and of course I´ve learned lots of stuff during my time here. It´s good to hear that classmates got recognized to many people´s amazement owed to the master degree. I just hope this could give me some slack as well. Something I don’t have from the bachelor. I´ve been recognized for my knowledge during this one and a half year. I feel strong into my main fields: Agriculture; environment; logistics; biochemistry.

So I wonder why SLU hides us away; holding in on half of our competence. Mainly research and agricultural competences. Green enterprises or agencies have little idea what a cultivation engineer really is and whenever they have, the name make them wonder what we could contribute with at all. Wouldn´t they have heard about us? And not a word about our bachelor in Biology from SLU.

Would it be so hard to give credit to the students they have educated? More than the agronomists, farmers, horticulturists and landscape architects/engineers. Where are the cultivation engineers? I know now we have begun to take positions in agencies and consultant companies but not even close to other students.

/Just a though

Hans Rosling

Today I read that we lost Hans Rosling, a very distinguished professor within international stability spheres. He took his assignment with great seriousness. During my whole education there used to be one live presentation after another on TED talk or YouTube. He used to be very interactive while describing global development indexes measuring stuff like global population, conflicts, economical development etc.

I had the privilege to see him live at SLU Ultuna a couple of years ago alongside Johan Rockström. As usual sustainability issues were parts of the themes. I believe I´m most grateful for his open reaction criticizing Rockström for using these new unsophisticated gadgets such as pointers during the presentation. I could see the former a bit ashamed picking up the old school stick the very next time he went on stage.

Well the time is ticking I guess and it becomes more clear that our generation is to take on the responsibility for this and future generations. If we decide too that is… The old-timers are disappearing one by one and soon it´s very much up to us to constitute the foremost line in societal developments.

Just like last time I have problems with the eyes. Trying best possible to contact stakeholders I have been in contact with before in various parts of the society about laser injuries and protection measures. Not least in the science field. What more can one do than trying another lap to urge for more focus towards recognition towards us in need of help and protection to further exposures?

One day at a time..

Anyhow, if you are interested I have included a rather entertaining presentation by Rosling. Perhaps it´s your cop of tea as well?

/Until next time



Since I finished my internship the time has just flown by. It seems as my life goes in hyper speed. The days are flashing by in front of my eyes. Oh, wow. Perhaps says something about my internship. Last week I did the presentation together with some others from my class. It was a rather nice occasion with very plain presentations. Not much demand for a certain code or anything.

Here the other day the remaining submissions from the course were marked with the approval stamp. A relief about the understandings concerning my circumstances. The supervisor was although surprised by the hehe… kind of positive report. Guess the rule from my 20 years in the work sector came into the picture in the last second – never, ever talk down about a former employer, EVER! That might cost you the next job, no matter the circumstances.

I´ve at least blown the whistle and the university is free to take precautions about the internship in the future. Just a couple of days after the approval of my submissions, I passed the course. So now it´s only the last 25 % left of the program. The thesis!

That´s although my problem. The eyes have been healing for a month now and nothing much has been happening. A few days after the incident it looked as if I had received a fist in the eye. Red emerging blood vessels everywhere. So the thesis has stood still since I rushed the registration. Now my eyes has stopped aching during nights, but I can feel while I´m writing this that they are making their current health status reminded. Pain!

Sh#t. I really don´t know what to do about it. The eye doctors wont do anything. They have abandoned us, continue defending the introduction of lasers in society.

I plan to lay low and hope I figure out a way around the problem. I´m afraid this means the end of the service sector. After cheating destiny time after time I seem to have received the final blow to the eyes. These new led and laser diodes in bicycle lights, tools and more… are killing my eyes, literarily. This time, a five year old that found it lying on the kitchen table.

Well. One day at a time. First on the bucket list for now: try finish this Master. One day at a time…

/signing out

Wicked repetition

Yesterday the last of the internship course was done. We ended with some last presentation from internships. The spell bound audience was other students. As it looks now I should have concluded about 75 percent of the Master program. Regrettably the last light in my eyes with the very strong lamp has begun to take the best of me. Just like during the Bachelor thesis some higher power or something decided to drop down on me again like a splinter in my eye. Literaly.

Just now I´m in some emergency-panic mode. Mostly wondering how I´m going to do this. Feel stunned most of the time. If it can be done at all. These new toys including lasers are really killing my eyes. Would really have been interesting to have an approval about the topic during my thesis. Although it seems as I have to do with what I have.

I got the feedback from the examiner, of which I had to redo some of the proposal. It was expected since I just stressed it in. So after some changes I´m to send it back and be on my way. It´s rather good actually to get some feedback. Then I can sense the dynamics of what the focus is when writing within the social science.

Well. I guess it´s one day at a time as usual while one wonders if these sudden deaths to the eyes will ever stop. Amazing how the history managed to repeat itself.

/Struggling on

Looking back

It´s thesis time which creates a moment to look back on the program. There has been a rather straightforward journey spatially alternated between the two universities, with a possible individual second year. The absence of these sighs in the class rooms about the environment word is a relief. Here everyone is just as into various issues. For the first time in school I was surrounded by people having more interest than me into this.

As if that wasn´t enough each members’ knowledge in the class becomes an asset by itself. Engineers of different kinds, medicine students, biologists, geologists, law-, economic students, linguists, anthroposophist – and well, many others. Every one of us handpicked. All have contributed to the overall goal to intertwine knowledge and scientific disciplines. The code word is Interdisciplinary studies. It´s has been a high application pressure for this program, over 600 when I applied.

We have roamed across all sorts of fields and requirements of competences creating the need for some in real time to uphold others. One stand or fall together in case studies and group works. Everyone has been forced to learn good and bad sides of themselves. Some dragged lots of regrets from favoring the own discipline at the beginning. While many felt the program opened up way to slow, so many more felt the noose closing in on group works very fast if bleeding over the interdisciplinary group homogeneity. Yeah, if you want to contribute later on in life this program are sure to learn you the greatest lesson in life: listen first!

So where too, after the program? While we evolved in both our major and ability to learn others´, we were told by alumni that our lesson hasn´t been learned in overall academic society. Most hasn´t been drilled as we have, to overcome pride and prejudice to others’ competence. Meantime demand in the scientific sphere to over bridge this flaw has been notable for years. It seems as some players out there begin to give in a bit to their beliefs in experts rather than dynamic competences.

From what I´ve learned during this year, the contribution from science will never reach its potential of sustainable and interlinked with the rest of society without such training this program offers.


System thinking

Cleaning the brain from studies. Watching some of the greatest gamers ever in Starcraft Brood war. How weird it might seem, the Starcraft platform has given me lots of system knowledge. From as far back as I can remember, the dynamics between the three styles, perfectly balanced as a whole, not just between units as in the second game constitutes a very basic truth about conclusions made in science; the survival of the fittest, as Darwin put it. Together with another dude which was robbed by much of the recognition;)

Many years after my mind was blown away by the genuinity of Blizzard (at the time) I still can draw very linear conclusions about, war, human resources and sustainable development. Just as provoking as it might be sitting in the position with lots of fans looking, backing off because natural resources are depleted, the situation is the same for real societies’ politicians with their voters, having depleted all forests, humus and soils owed to wars.

I wonder for example how Africa might have looked 10 000 years ago. When told at the time that it hadn´t changed that much – Africa had an arid climate already then – it didn´t really fit that well in my mind. Especially many years later when old rivers have been detected under the sand dunes. I mean, just in Sweden we had serious desert landscapes with moving dunes before. It doesn’t take that much time for induce it or to freeze the situation, as had been concluded about Sweden.

The platforms from Starcraft are so thankful to study from that viewpoint. Really lots to be learned just by setting the reality in some contrast. In some ways as Mikael Ende did during his time. One can really argue whether other approaches than the ordinary actually could bring more clarity about the reality, to know how to perceive reality in some more consequent way, even towards such we have taken for granted.

Well. Awesome game, awesome interface and a lot to be learned. Haha still 20 years later on the year, I´m still blown away. Take a glance from some of the milestones and give the words some thought, would you?

We´re sitting playing realities of human behavior and natural resource management for fun. Well provoking, isn´t it? I wonder what academy could learn from introducing these interfaces into the education^^

/Thanks for reading

In position!

The deadline has passed and to begin with the bad news. A little kid here the other day thought it was funny angling this new bicycle light straight into my eyes from within an arms length, hidden best possible behind open hands. So now my eyes are messed up again. Hard to focus longer periods on the computer screen with lots of pain during nights when the eyes are relaxing. Sigh! Sure I could study for this restricted time frame, but I´m really hoping the eyes can come back, somewhat at least. One never knows.

The good news! I made the deadline! I managed the registration:) Thank you Åsa! Must have been the fastest research proposal ever. Little more than a week. Thankfully – alleviating my eyes for potential remastering, my supervisor having represented our interdisciplinary program, was more interested of my coming design than the proposal; do I understand what´s coming?

He said we students are representing a field romanticized by fellow academics off which most back down when asked themselves. It´s a no-man’s-land where students ends up bridging the flaws of professional academic idealism. It seems to me as if this program via continuous thesis framing, is bringing a higher potential of knowledge AND wisdom.

This seems with warmth in my heart, true for me as well bound to a deal I made with the supervisors. As of now I´ve fallen between the chairs. What begun as reluctance to be the main supervisor into the own discipline ended up with two supervisors to aid with much but what their positions could.

This is a long shot of trust between three entities of which the student should feel the seriousness, which I do! Both supervisors says: “I can´t aid you with tasks my position in this enterprise should entitle me too”. At the same time, here it comes; this is the exact position I have sought during almost ten years in the academy! The same position that´s lacking today. I can´t believe it!

Now it´s me that have been entrusted to wield the knowledge of experts around me, as a Holist, giving aided value to our endeavor, via the broadness, not depth, of my education. I feel this is going to be very interesting. Either way I´m going to explore a position that seems as a hot spot for what have been demanded among overall science latest years; a holist partly leading among experts for a synergy with direction and communication.

/That´s it!


With three days left to the research proposal deadline I found a primary supervisor, completing the trinity that is to propel the thesis. I can say that the course coordinator seemed very pleased with the news. I´m pleased to feel that this might still be possible. I´m also most thankful to my understanding course Coordinator which really tries her best to keep her ducklings in line. Without her understanding and help, this would have been close to impossible.

I´m also glad that the supervisor himself seems very encouraging, hoping that the little timeframe for corrections will be enough for me. My evaluator which I met first in line of current events seemed to recognize the implications with the interdisciplinary approach. Very humbly she as a professor, into the empiric field of focus, made a disclaimer about the sole clinical field of importance. It was better if someone more fit for the task was to lead this thesis representing a rather windling path of various scientific disciplines.

I myself have been alternating between completing agreements with various interlinking authorities, gluing some romantic will of survival into the game of staying with the head over the water surface. It´s here the importance of the course leader comes into the picture. With some last council in her office before the weekend, I´m off trying to complete a proposal for the deadline. Thank you Åsa!

Right now it´s mostly about the method of choice, which is mainly what the E-level thesis seems to be about: making a thought through proposal and train to follow that to the point.

With that being said I´m still struggling with the former landlord that went uncomfortably silent when I called their try to cut from my deposition with a bill I haven´t seen, with a well… visible bill! Right now I´m just trying to keep that situation static, to contain it while forcing the research proposal and possibility to get income into motion. If that works I guess one can force an end to this crap-relationship, hopefully without getting robbed. Ah, it really takes a lot of energy when sitting with the beard in the post box as some Swedes say.

I´m also trying to finish the last parts and deals about the internship course. I sent the last requested info to hopefully get the sought after insignia that I´ve formally been there. Today I sent in the final report and hoping to get the formalities concerning the supervisor into a completion.

So! This weekend will mostly, hopefully, be about the research method and some minor issues.

Well, that´s about it folks!


Remembering that time is ticking I´m hurrying through lots of literature in the subject I chose, hoping that it will be enough to make this work. I´ve spent a couple of phone calls and a mail to reach potential supervisors. As of now I´m awaiting answer from one specialized in poultry fodder at my university.

I´ve still haven´t heard anything from the internship course coordinator about what´s the deal. I know that the staff has been idling, stretching skin for weeks now since Christmas break, but a bit worried still of the silence.

At the same time I´m trying to finish the deal with the former lend lord, which I just want to forget. Got a suspicious mail yesterday about cutting at my deposition for bills I haven´t even seen yet.

Things still remain quite stressful about, well everything to the next semester. A conclusion from what I´ve suffered through so far is that: when my sixth sense begins to alarm about all sorts of unserious persons – then listen to that voice! It might reduce a lot of rough rounds about well, everything from school to roofs over the head.

/That´s all

Rushing to a pause

Friday night and biding my time doing more of these small diffuse errands I´ve been doing the whole day. Lots of mails left and right about the last internship course steps. Meanwhile I´ve not concluded everything with the former accommodation. Still haven´t got my 10 000 SEK deposition back.

Watching starcraft (2) matches while idling over some printed articles about hops and it´s antimicrobial effects. Got in contact with someone today that would ask yet another someone to be my supervisor.

I believe this idea could actually be realized. If I just can get going rather fast. Will try to read some articles during the weekend to be ready for a potential supervisor first thing next week. If I make the deadline I´ll make room for a couple of weeks off. I need a break:P


Balancing the scale

Hello  again!

I´m sitting at a new accommodation with the internship behind me. Now there´s probably gonna be a tug of war about views and opinions of the final report. I also hope there won´t be problems from late submissions of diary chapters. Oh this internship has really worn on the ability to find energy. I won´t celebrate until the report is submitted and I´ve a clearer view about consequences from the late submissions.

January has just kicked in with full force and the thermometer shows -17 degrees Celsius. The ground is white and sparkles in the sunshine during the days and depicturing the landscapes´ forms and features in late nights’ moonlight. I myself is trying to get the hang of the situation both with the new accommodation and how fair chance I got to make the deadline. I´m balancing right now on falter and success; don´t knowing when any of them´s gonna claim me.

If I just was to leave the internship and everything with it rather easy now I could actually make it. The subject has changed again although. The course leader didn´t buy the relation to sustainable development and lasers. Anyhow I got green light on hops in animal fodder for its antibacterial properties, to lighten the load of antibiotics to animals in agricultural sectors.

This is a subject I´ve had my eyes on for some years, but never got the time to delve deeper into. It´s a fairly interesting subject as well as rather tangible based on my university studies. Guess I´m beginning to search info and for a supervisor tomorrow, if not arguing about the report. Oh… sigh. At least I´m through the training!

That´s all for now.

New year!

No more studying in 2016. Soon there´s only future ahead. The time is ticking and I guess all over the world big cities are crowded with expectant inhabitants. Yes the next year should be filled with new possibilities and fresh starts.

New gadgets are presented in an ever increasing rate to help us save the world. Guess there has been a new threshold of purchases for Christmas gifts, again. New, more environmentally friendly cars are presented with various spices for making great deals that includes trashing the old car. Good for resource consumption footprints. The development for lasers has peaked in a rate than ever before to help us trash enemy air craft in seconds.

New promising economic developments that rings well with the possibility to consume ourselves into the life (we) so badly want is set to bring the Overshoot date even earlier to 2017. Our overcrowded cities will bring new possibilities for environmental progress for the global majority. Yes, everyone will cultivate their own food at the balcony while international companies are purchasing rights for ownership over everything that grows.

Yeah each new year with new promises feels very ensuring. It´s so good we have come into this development of righteousness for all living things making us so environmentally friendly. Buying plant based food from all over the world to the sound of increased deforestation or ethanol produced instead of needed staple foods in poor countries, while harassing our domestic farmers´ meat production when the real problem is slaughter. Green promises sometimes feel, well, so green.

Yes, I guess people will be even more environmentally friendly next year while cutting prices/environmental-steps during productions stages. So that we can reach the circular society in 2017.

So what are you going to add to the world in 2017 beyond your word? Here you have words. See where they lead. Tnx Bethesda for wise words instead of short promises! Viewer discretion is advised!

Happy new year!


Now the Christmas has reached its end and it´s time to sleep. Still lots to be done. Today I went to my other accommodation and stuffed down my stuff in boxes. It´s good to finally be rid of the room this coming week. I can just be thankful the whole thing coincided with the internship accommodation. One thing leads to another guess.

The coming week will be rather irregular with various errands alongside the internship. So far I´ve not figured out how about the “when”, but I plan to have that fixed a.s.a.p. After that I hopefully have another accommodation waiting for me and can only hope things works out during the last part of the ride. The only thing bothering me is to make that freaking deadline. Grrrrr. No preassure! School system of today^^

Very few persons within the academic world seem to care about quality, only deadlines. The school, in this case the adult childcare centre, is no exception since it´s highly tied to academic conduct. Still authorities carve the results in stone when the short-run results comes spitting out of the process. Doing long and planned runs – no one is really trained for. Believe me – I try but as so many other slow students thinking about quality, I get punished^^ Haha. Think about it for a sec! I do.

One often takes for granted that being behind schedule is a bad thing. Often poor achievement. I guess it´s true. But why is the system so keen of promoting poor, time constrained conducts that not seldom get criticized for being too short or simple conducts, for producing thought through generated data?

Just a though.


Hi again!

The Christmas holiday is still rolling. Well, right now most people are asleep though, but still one more day. That means more sleep over hehe! Yeah, the gift trading day came and went as planned. I couldn´t see anything out of the ordinary on the news anyhow. I although invited the twins for the annual hour of Christmas cartoon clips at TV in my room and was surprised that neither France nor Luxemburg had this piece of beauty. Hehe guess it goes for others as well. Still sit there fixed following the same Disney classics as usual:)

When considering my family home at my mothers’ I’ve really been fortunate during Christmas, since there has been some kind of magic about it. Can´t say I´ve been that happy about situations all the time otherwise, but Christmas was always the day when things just seemed to work. Enchanted nights in the cozy living room illuminated by the lamps in the tree, creating shadows of warmth and color around people.

Spending Christmas alone as I tend to do come rather easy for me. With a quite reduced buffet I spent the evening watching Starcraft matches online and ended with some episodes of Sunes Jul. Hilarious:) The second thing I mean, the first is more awsome^^

Although, Christmas is a tough time for many people. One should not forget that many tend to cry themselves to sleep in loneliness, sobbing over the food. Others tend to have this glorious time for reflection destroyed by alcohol, that beside being rather annoying can drive people out of their homes. Not everyone has as easy calebrating alone as me, for example. I understand their pain but would recommend those to rather take use this occasion instead.

Yeah, Christmas tend to mean very different things for people. When celebrating with others I can just recommend blending the alcohol with the fire wood, there it has a more constructive use. That tend to solve many problems – I´ve heard.

So – about the formalities! The internship is nearing its end, manifested by questions from my supervisor about final reports concerning my internship. Someone seems to be reminded about the fact that now others are about to get insight about my time here^^. Yeah it´s a relief to go on! I can say that right away.

Concerning the thesis that has been greatly suffering from the nature of the internship has got another course correction again. There´s no time to get into the field of slaughter with, well so little time. So with a rather serious deadline coming up I don´t have much choice than changing game field… again. I´m going back to laser! Not really what I had in mind and it´s not the smoothest way of approaching these issues for me. I´ve been pondering this option during Christmas and feel I haven’t much choice.

One begins to wonder if there is some kind of meaning for certain things to happen:) Or is that connection more up to the ability to make use of the situations, one person from another. Well I can only hope there´s some reason. There are after all many persons that needs to be represented and one day hopefully helped. If I could get what I wanted out of it I would get class 2 under license demand as well.

I´ve not decided what to dive into; principle of caution; scrutinizing current standing models of danger assessments; getting more selections of data into scientific manageable game fields etc. What I know is that I´ve at least a fair chance to send some basic research proposal for the deadline. With or without a supervisor^^

By the way, have you heard that Chris Metzen quit? Feel a bit sad about it since he brought me so much joy during many years.


Dreaming progress

Hi again!

A new week and spent the last days a bit ill. Managed to get the thesis proposal into motion though. Some headlines with a pasted description from the how to do papers so far, but hey it´s progress.

I´ve also continued looking for accommodations. Was visiting one potential house in the outskirts of Uppsala yesterday. Rather worn down still from this cold that just won´t let me go. No cigarettes, room on the second floor, toilet far away from the landlord’s bed. Seems as a decent guy. A bit restraining towards the contract thing though. Make one wonder. It seems as a good place but it´s always exhausting trying to map what´s the deal with situations and feel so dependent on things to work all the time. I said yes anyhow and hope the door is opening when one arrive in a near future. Nice with a parental home to resettle in, but just have to push on the old fashion way.

Now the administration of the internship course went active again and I got a message reminding me that things are almost over. To my great delight I saw that I´m supposed to write an about 7 pages evaluation. Feels nice to handle alongside my proposal and internship. Yey!

Between the hours of half genuinely searching for articles I dreamt away on YouTube with some more clips. Fiction and facts alike. I like films and have until the adult child care centre followed best possible my favorite crews in USA of which I´m most fond of collaborators of James Cameron. I was reminded that it´s now 30 years since the launch of Aliens – one of my top 10. Can you believe it! 30 years and still has 8,6 at IMDB last I checked a year ago or something. I remember when I was about 15 and saw one of the Queen prototypes in real scale with my own eyes! Was reaching her knee with my head. That was a day of days I can tell you! Woooow. I remember her towering up over me in that exhibition tent outside the shopping mall. Regrettably, poor as my struggling mother was we had no money for a camera, but can still dream on the moment 15 years later:)

Here´s a link to a quick 30 year reunion interview with the core of cast and crew 30 years later reunion, including Cameron. Ah, one´s really reminded about how much I need to dream to focus onto the reality^^ Scope of Romantics I guess!

Just found some energy to read through some articles I found earlier today.



About the thesis I after many doubts just think about following the research proposal guidelines, to get things going. Just wait with the freaking core of the thing and let it come to me. I mean, I´ve been stuck wondering how other people want me to write and having the disposition. So I just think like – ah h#ll with it! Just start up some Word doc and begin writing down some crap. Much of these things I´ve realized during my years at the adult childcare center are psychological. If one can´t patter thinks like most.. we dreamers have to… well just begin.

So with that decision made I believe I´m gonna frame some kind of reply forms about some really “important” stuff to various stakeholders and then I´m gonna be the star student of the year or something. You know – progress, not perfection^^

Feel so tired from wandering. Now it´s time to just do something. Anything:P Right now it feels as a good choice. Guess things will turn out okay after someone just correct what I haven’t “pattered” the right way or whatever. As I said to the course leader after 6 years of this “I don´t understand a word they are pattering about”, concerning this strict academic frames, that I don´t think there´s more to it than that people trained as guinea pigs don´t know how to handle free thinking individuals when met with wider mindset and other ways “of doing it” than their own, they just short-circuit.

For years one has competed on other persons terms and it feel so good that I´m finally arriving to the last step here. If continuing to doc. it´s all about framing and pattering. Knowledge or even more so… wisdom.. almost leaves the focus from that point. Henceforth one can begin to use whatever I´m made off and apply it in somewhat own terms as advisor or something, that I´m aiming for. Make the knowledge thing and just throw these models and analyze “frames” to ¤#%¤#&%¤#.

Ah. Yes, that was nice to get off my chest. Not bad actually. To get half way through the master level, still the same retard in math as I were in the elementary school, I´ve must have made something right along my road^^ Clearly I´ve built my knowledge on other kinds of patterns than others.


Interns and volunteers


New weekend and this time I´ve promised myself I shall.. take the time to close the “to do” gap of paper exercises. It´s one month to deadline now for the research proposal. Wow. The time is ticking. The thought of just little more than 2 weeks at the internship left, awakens some hidden energy! 🙂 This has been a though time I can say and to finally see the light in the other side of the tunnel is such a relief.

I also got this typical phone call here the other day tightening the noose again – I´m released from my other accommodation one month earlier than expected^^ Oh oooh! So things feel a bit windy just now. Lots of stuff happening and one really needs to keep the calm. I mean if one had this ordinary family home that most do – I guess things wouldn´t matter, but all of us hasn´t been that fortunate during our lives. No you read right – not even in the fantastic Sweden, ho ho ho^^

So with relatively… sigh… little time left here at the farm thoughts of course goes towards those that have been here besides me, which I decided to write some lines about.

Besides me there are firstly two girls around their twenties. One is from France Audrey – and is therefore more known, with a little… help from me, as Viva la France^^ or the Impaler! But that´s another story. Kind of a social chameleon:) Here the other day she came dragging with the lid of a big animal feed container on her back – pretending to be a hermit crab^^ Hehe. When she saw a rat stealing food she snatched if over the neck. Stuck! Swoosh! Predator style with the wrist blades around the neck! ^^

The other girl – Suria – is from Luxemburg and is from her little more careful behavior more known as Pocahontas. They are kind ‘a sharing everything, Where one is, so is the other. Thereby the “Twins”^^ Kind of though both of them actually. Before we got the hot water in our house they showered cold for weeks.

Besides from us there are many that come and go – mostly more experienced that the farmers take use from when needed. My favorite was Antoine, also from France – a real badass at farming – studying at a counterpart of SLU, in France. He´s regrettably long gone now but his memory and the stunts still lingers on. The twins have lots of contact with him on Facebook. I´ve also heard some rumors that he might show up during Christmas:D

Well just some thoughts about my personal environment for now!

Another Saturday

Saturday again and sitting at Geo Centrum in Uppsala once again. In the Sustainable Development´s (almost) own library by the way. I´m seeing some other students passing outside the glass door in their own endeavors. Otherwise I´m almost alone here.

A good Saturday in other words. Just trying to warm up for my personal errands-Saturday.

I´ve been giving the thesis some more thought, but to be honest the internship is almost killing me. I´m really glad it´s only three weeks left, plus two days. Wow incredible how much energy that´s going into that right now. Meanwhile I´m bleeding energy over the thesis. I´ve at least found a plausible supervisor. Just wondering whether the guy has any time for me^^

Well, not much that´s changed in other words:P Just trying to survive this internship some more weeks.

That´s all for now!

Tnx for reading!


Weekend and I´m in one of the computer halls at the Geo center for the first time in months:) I´m trying to get the thesis thing going. Last week I met with the thesis supervisor and some things got a bit clearer.

I guess it´s time to draw the first signs in the sand how to frame this thing:) Hehe like in the morning: one three! Well in any case it’s nice to have some change of environment. Now it’s one month to go at the internship and I can say it feels so good to see the end in the same calendar sheet!

It has been a very intensive period in many ways and I hope it has been worth all the trouble. I´ve learned so much about universal good and bad in the world. Anyhow it´s December and one can tell inhabitants in Uppsala has lots of anticipation about Christmas.

I wonder although if it’s time to leave Uppsala by the beginning of the thesis for another, less crowded city. Still within Mälardalen Valley though! My home town Västerås could be a good choice, since it lying in the center of the region. It´s fairly close to both relatively big AND small cities all around. I haven´t decided though.

Well that´s the plan for folks!


One month to go


Time is flying by and I´m still behind. Hehe. The internship takes all energy right now. I visited a teacher regarding the thesis yesterday and it´s fair to say I´m in need of get things rolling. But it´s so hard to get started:)

I still have my subject and have now learned a little more of the thesis layout. Still questions to be solved but it feels somewhat more tangible now. The most important thing should be to find the question and a supervisor. I´ve got a plan!

Now I´ve began searching for a new accommodation. Again! Oh:P Yes, haha. Sigh. Now Studentstaden saw a chance to reduce their administrative costs and joined the big company´s way in town of demanding payment from people in line. Furthermore I lost many positions in the line since it was updated. So studentstaden is no longer a choice.

So now I´m kind of restricted to the private market, hoping it will prove resourceful. In that sense it will be nice to leave Uppsala for some smaller city after the studies. Then one hopefully can reduce the accommodation pressure. Hopefully that is.

One day at a time and hopefully I´ll get through after the nest semester.

Then it´s time for the job market again:P On good and bad.

Until next time

Thesis exercise

The winter is coming and even with some snow melting away it´s gradually getting colder. I just invested in some working clothes for coming weeks in the snow. With some formal delays of paper work I´m still fighting the good fight.

It was a while ago I saw any of the others. I guess we are dispersed worldwide. One or two choose to get their final exam via SLU, that I probably won´t see again. The others would be bound to come to Uppsala University to present their thesis.

I´m still a bit stuck in the emotional quagmire whether to have the energy to dig into the “how” thing about thesis disposition. Wow, these paper exercises can be so incredibly intangible to get ones hands on. People that have hardly done some ordinary work in their whole lives, devoted to frame the world into abstractions, sets up frameworks for how to perceive the tools used in the thesis. The situation is set for major collisions between different ways to perceive the reality. And in these cases the student is always wrong. Wow, I feel a bit worn down right now:)

I´ve done some years now that changes most students views about how unnecessary intangible approaches could be towards various processes of dispositions and formalities as such. While most favors this system, I feel all the time that my position still stands – only persons with great detachment of direct realities could welcome all these, well obstacles to do things one’s own way.

Speaking of sustainability threats, just as a recent post, this is really grinding my gears more and more. This is also a reason why I more and more think  that too many years at the university could be hindering real life experiences about how the world really works.

Well I guess one just have to take one baby step after another. That things are as they are doesn´t mean that I have to like it, or even agree^^

Just as in X-fusion´s Odd one out:

“(…) They call me
Odd one out
And I don’t disagree”

Hopefully it will bring some good with it for the future of all.

/Well that´s all for now

… some words of my chest

Hi again!

So, here I am again, looking up from my little rabbit whole among cows, pigs and other friends in the paddocks. It´s fun cutting and pasting but it´s not happening as often as one might want to.

I have decided to lend a word or two about Swedish money, trash and recycling carousel, beyond current status. Here the other day another fellow member on facebook had captured a picture of her beloved friend in the barn. Some words also followed. As we know humans have a way of littering. Sometimes the trash is blown out in arable fields and since Sweden devotes about 80 percent of our acreages to animals, it sooner or later reaches our friends in the barns. This time of the year. Urban people might need to figure out – why now?

There on facebook the farmer looks at her beloved friend lying among nice fresh straw gasping and screaming in pain from the bear cans grinding her intestines. Vets and personal have tried everything within their power to help. But it´s finished, even for the unborn calf. Once again the litterers win.

About the same time I see an ad on the same forum obviously stating some differences about Swedish and US waste management – about how good it seems to incinerate rather than dump in Sw compared to the bad US. At the same time Swedish power plants get paid by the tons to receive foreign unmanageable trash from other European countries.

Wow isn´t it great! Sweden is so good and proud over our waste management hierarchies. Good for us that our own soil is being targeted as dump stations for European trash… but don´t worry, the most hazardous ash is being exported. The rest will in time reach our drinking water. And if we want to keep it al natural we can just dump it at the acreages along our roads for the cows to digest! As with our domestic garbage.

Yeah, isn´t a wonderful world! At the same time I´m watching ads on YouTube favoring soy yogurt instead of that from our animals. I guess it must be so good being a vegan – supporting the crop that alongside palm oil, driving rain forest deforestation half around the whole world.

Isn´t the urbanization with its building of knowledge about the world just fantastic?

As for me I at least have figured out what to focus at in my thesis. After lots of thinking I´m letting go of the laser for now. It feels terrible at the same time as I know it might be better to do that tomorrow. The academic forum while being very vulnerable is a very poor position for to stir the pot among namely – academics.

Here the other Thursday I got my first experience from commercial animal transportation. Without blaming neither the driver nor the farmer I was so devastated being tied just as everyone else to the world market hysteria. To see the animals I´ve devoted my whole waking days to nurture, being treated as shit from the second the hatch to the truck representing the world market slid open, made my heart ache.

For how would any of the stakeholders that were involved that particular morning be able to do anything about what happened, as members of the same system as vegans and vegetarians alike, favoring money with lowest amount of payment for all products and services? How is it possible to eat meat, as part of the circle of life while being able to watch oneself in the mirror after dinner? How to address the system…

This is going to be the major theme of my thesis.

The internship otherwise is going on. Now we have gone into winter mode. This means a lot of serving of animals and repairs. I also feel that lectures from the farmers during breaks are becoming much more frequent. I feel that I´ve learned tons of information since I came here. I just hope I can make use of it for the future. That´s much up to our society´s norms and available competition space to decide. I´m less then convinced it will be an easy task to make oneself heard within this neo liberalist generation of ordinary consumers, vegetarians and vegans, choosing money before biosphere.

Watch out for the lasers out there in stores and other parts of society. Soon also in cars!

Isn´t a wonderful world?

Almost half way

Yey!  Half at sleep while writing this I´m half way through my internship course. It continues to take, well, too much of my time. I´m having literally no own life right now. The days at the farm begins at the morning and ends in the evening. Not much time for other things.

That´s just the issue again with the thesis. I´ve managed essentially nothing of what I was supposed to do at this time. I know now I want to work more with agroforestry issues firstly. But how to tie it to Sustainable Development in an interdisciplinary fashion. Wow! Many demands right now! No wonder science has been commercialized. From where else would scientists trained as dogs find money while spending months meeting up to sentence dispositions in their work. Hahahaha. So perhaps a good experience in a way also.

The accommodation situation has taken a rather sour turn. The lend lord that just wanna milk me for money, took a 180 degree turn, saying that we don´t wanna spend work power to let you off the leach. You are stuck with us greedy humans for as long as the contract says! Have a good quarter!

Perhaps the Swedish society has fallen to this level for poor students everywhere but it´s really tough being a student here in Uppsala. Most inhabitants besides students are really shamefully hard to live with. At the private accommodation market one feels pushed down in the mud all the time. And when the accommodation doesn´t work. Well then essentially nothing works. Compared with being in Scania I feel Uppsala is a greatly overestimated city. I understand that young people want to be where the shit goes down so to say but when one has done the student thing for some years… Well I don´t know. I´m rather be around nice people rather than many people. That´s at least my conclusion.

Until next time!

Thesis project

Knowing it was all too long ago I posted last time, I´m sitting in my thoughts about thesis project. Wow, it´s hard to decide:) Sunday – the first free day for two weeks with the industrial music in the background. Finally:)

It was a while ago I was to the headquarter at Geocenter but I guess things are running stable. Our thesis course managers are ending out reminders frequently about the importance to pick up where we left before the internship. But it´s so hard getting time to do it hahaha.

This internship is really taking all my time. I was done half past ten at Friday evening. Although I´m learning a lot. That´s the important thing I guess. The farm although has major problems with rats right now. One can read about that rats are infiltrating urban infrastructure now. Well it´s seem to be the same for the countryside.

This can be seen as a major sustainability problem. What if farmers can´t afford to invest in metallic grain silos? Rat poison on the way to get put of the legal market. What happens then? Can this be seen as the level of input needed to buy ourselves out of the presence of ambient environment? What message do such indicators give for the future?

Well that´s all for this time!

Learning process

Oh wow! I´m always completely finished when I come into my room after an 11 hour intensive work day. It´s hard to get some time left from the sleep. Use to drop right after the shower and a tick-check. The blogging is no exception I´m afraid.

I understand from my facebook page that school for the class mates is going steady. I´m thinking quite a lot of my thesis-start up during this semester. I´m still very unsure about whether to dive into agroforestry issues – which I want to work with. Or if I should contribute to the very skewed laser injury scientific field – which need a great boot in the butt. Into the right direction that is!

Yep! I´m in a quagmire. When one knows that both things will affect me heavily. Then it´s hard to decide. Meanwhile I´m striding on here at the farm. The harvesting period is almost done, but the seeding stages are dragging behind. It feels interesting when one begin to get some insight of what´s going on and have an own opinion about what lies behind these delays, likewise how they could have been avoided.

I guess I have to give in to the reasons to do the internship before going on into this field. One is learning everyday in a relatively fast pace in some cases. As the problem solver it´s very interesting to asking all the questions about the potential of environmental parameters and those of the conduct as such while learning. Perhaps not the best forum for personal interaction but I´m still thinking about how to do with that parameter.

This morning Antoine, the French student, left the farm. His internship in now completed and before taking on his studies in France he has a quite lot of tasks to fulfill on his family farm. With mixed feelings it seems like. As I understand his grade (unique) for him here at the farm was delightful. No more than right actually.

So the administrative tasks about accommodation and other personal matters goes on in the background when one has the time. Now I at least has talked to my lend lord and decided to search for something else. Meanwhile it´s the matter of thesis subject:) …

Well that´s all!

It rolls on

The sun is still managing to make the days warm. The harvest is still going on at the farm. Or rather as such I would say. During the bus ride home I believed all grain producing farmers was harvesting. Grains that is.

Tomorrow I´m to revisit the Geo center again for a presentation about coming events. This time it´s the last stand – the thesis. While I´m learning at a good rate at the farm it feels as a welcome brake to get some contrast. I used one such ticket yesterday when helping another producer to sell his organic vegetables and fruits at the local farmer´s market. In another town.

The good thing is that I have a home which I can be in. Breath in. Sleep in. The bad thing is that I need to use this breather to see the situation over after a new accommodation. If something happens it might be good to have somewhere else to go.

At the farm it´s right now volunteers from France and Luxemburg. Both girls – in their early twenties. Then there´s a French student in his middle twenties conducting studies at home otherwise and like me are using this as his internship. The interesting difference is that he is a farmer´s son, also in charge of various administrative parts of his own family farm – while being here. He´s good! He´s practically running this farm by his own. To have the possibility to meet him is very fortunate for me.

Well I guess things is rolling but I know better than to expects it last and need to take precautions about accommodation, foremost, in case of failure somewhere.

/That´s it for now

Three days

I´ve been on the farm for three days now. I´ve met some bigs and a bunch of sheep. Real escape artists the latter ones. They managed to run away just when one of the volunteers´parents came to visit. After some herding they were back where they should be:)

I´ve got an old cozy room at the farm to live in, among some other interns and volunteers. Hopefully the whole thing will be rather straight forward until the thesis during the last semester.

I´ve already begun to learn a little more what it´s all about. From drying the harvest to understand a bit how to manage the pigs. There can be quite a lot of things in the air during the lunch table, so one better listen. There´s a lot of things going on and there´s a lot of new tasks and mashines to learn. There´s quite a rotation of people though. One left one day after I arrived and another will leave next week.

I feel rather happy to be able to read once in a while again. I´ve been longing back to the lifestyle of lying on the back in the bed once or twice each day. So between the tasks during the days and the sleep during the nights there is some time to do what one wants to do essentially.

Since I have been ill I know from spending the first days at the university that the rest of school has begun as usual. There´s a lot of stirrings and welcomings of new students in Uppsala. Some have serious problems finding an accomodation though. One I met was changing campus to Gotland instead to study the same thing there via Uppsala University. All thanks to the lack of housing.

/That´s all for this time



I´m sorry to say that I was unfortunate yet again with my accommodation. Now I´ve got a corridor apartment free from poison sticks, which has been the main dilemma before. But instead the ventilation doesn´t work. After coughing dust for three days I´m sleeping on peoples sofa´s for the time being. The farmer hosting my internship had although probably an accommodation for me at the farm.

So after a summer of one disaster after another I´m about to begin the internship tomorrow. Yey:) It was delayed owed to illness for a week. Wow, this is not a town to put demands on accommodations, that´s for sure. Haha incredible. I´m actually furious but can´t stop laughing it away when the tensions begin to fade. Another night at a hostel and then hopefully at the farm until Christmas brake.

The university has begun and the town has been in a high gear mode for some days now since the august warmth returned. There´s a lot of new faces running around in shining outfits here and there in the city. I also stumbled upon some programmers saying good bye to a couple of persons. Hehe no – I don´t spend any times with the others still;)

The thought of living on the countryside instead of the high intensity city feels very welcome. The farm is harvesting full time right now and will probably continue doing that for the next two weeks. I guess much will be about preparing the soil for the spring sowing after that.

Hehe it feels like I´m having a full time job doing nothing actually. Hopefully things will work out better from now on.

/that´s it folks!

Another turn

28 of August! Almost like New Years Eve. Except for the fireworks! A new study year with lots to learn. I´m celebrating it with open windows, literally! I´m sitting in my new accommodation – it´s not big, but it´s cozy.

I´ve a beautiful view from the second floor straight down at some house gardens in the surrounding residential area. All through the filter of hanging Betula pendula branches in golden green. Real picturesque. Like a summer veil. Here I sit with open windows. There hasn´t been a single smoker so far. Hearing the birds twitter through the double windows is like something since long time lost.

Regrettably I´ve been brought down by some bad ass virus. Hasn´t slept properly for days actually. The world is rotating and feels dizzy all the time. I really hope for the lot of my life it´s a common flu. Especially since I got bitten by a tick some weeks ago.

The move has been set to a halt and has been forced to ask for help. Not something I usually do. I hope I´ll manage to see the logistics through somehow. I really hope it´s a common flu as stated before.

Once again – fantastic to sit here in my little den of 16 m2 in the middle of gardens and houses, looking at the neighbor playing around with his little excavator below! When signing the contract, seeing the “smoke forbidden in this real estate”, gave me a warm feeling in the chest. As I´ve heard, others living here have problems with cigarettes themselves.  Thinking about open windows I cross my fingers once again:)

The health status has off course meant hinders to jump into my internship tomorrow. I´m to get in touch with the farmers when things come around. I really hope once again I´ve got a simple flu and not some virus from the tick.

Well that´s about it. Anxiety blended with relief.

Bye:) ♥

Dream small

Now there´s one week left until my internship starts. Have spent the last week mostly with new upgrades for my blog. After this really shitty… summer holiday it feels great with a new start.

The situation is even more thrilling since I´ve not yet seen any contract to my new accommodation, while I´m guaranteed a boot in the butt if not leaving the apartment by the end of August. Yeah, there´s lots of excitement right now.

While trying to stay cool keeping thoughts of the shame of a neighbor and the accommodation situation away with WordPress I´m happy to have the opportunity to learn things first hand during my internship. Next time I meet an agriculture agency I can press at practical experience as well.

I´ve although been busy and made a lot of things happen during this summer. Most importantly I fixed a storage area for my stuff I´ve dragged around with me during the last six years. Ever since I left my apartment for the university I´ve dragged around with about 4m3 moving boxes – a consequence from the absence of a parent home. This has greatly impacted on types of accommodations I could choose. While the size has decreased to about 2m3 I finally found a storage area for a decent price.

Now I can do what other students could all along – bring a couple of blankets and the computer. What a relief:) Speak of today’s Developed country-problem^^

Anyway, I hope this year might bring with it a decent accommodation free from filthy poison sticks. Yeah, big time bad luck this time as well. Sigh! I really think I deserve a good accommodation now! Come on! Hopefully in the future I can look back at the study period manifested by constant accommodation scams; constant moving and think of how much simpler my life have become, living on the country side, far from the stressed lunatics in the city:) … again! In my own home! Wow… some people have to dream small:)

Meanwhile I continue to figure out how the heck to do make my blog as I wanna have it, listening to my beloved Industrial music in the background^^ Welcome to follow me during a new study year in Uppsala!

All the best /Erik

At it again


Summer is moving towards the end and autumn is approaching. Students return while the dampness in the air begins to penetrate into the bone, reminding it´s time for school!

I´m hoping you all had a good summer. Because I haven´t hahaha:) I´ve been busy managing a very troubled neighbor in the flat below that´s reminding the others he´s there during nights with a lot of yelling and territorial behavior. After one year in Uppsala I can conclude two things of value for students about this city. Number one – there´s no other city like it in Sweden and two; the private housing situation is a mess.

It´s an overcrowded city with very frustrated inhabitants. While living on top of each others, citizens readily give in to the frustration. Much of everyday routine is about coping with private lend lords or neighbors that don´t want to be reminded others live there. If one can cope in a student corridor – perhaps that´s best. I guess I could recommend student apartments managed by different unions as well.

I´m happy to announce I was accepted to the internship the other day:) Wohoo:)! This opportunity has been a beacon during summer. The idea of being outside and work with soil and animals feels just great. I´ve actually made a false start, searching for wild oat a couple of times during summer. Couldn´t resist:)

So right now I´m more or less waiting for school to start:)

The service sector

The situation!

About the internship within the service sector the name on the diploma is more important than the competence. I´ve sent about 20 applications and the sector doesn´t really know what to do with competences that deviate from paved lanes.

This is really maddening. Especially when veterans with big bellies in their suits tried to depicture it as I have wasted the years of intensive biochemical, agricultural and logistical studies. I should have followed the mainstream name on the diploma because I draw different conclusions from the mainstream. Still farmers are plunging down the abyss as I´m writing this, following their advice.

I can continue to kick the gravel best I want, but I think I would be better off with my own consultant company than following fools. I´m so frustrated so you won’t believe it from what I´ve heard so far. I bet it all on interdisciplinary studies since childhood thinking in inverse patterns and get the feeling there’s much narcissism out there desperately trying to defend status quo. No matter consequences for those they are running down the drain.

Now I actually found this farmer indirectly (when talking agriculture) during an agriculture fair which lies ahead of the mainstream producers in alternative production strategies. More independent as well. Just as expected! He´s one of few in Sweden that has knowledge and experience enough to dare test cultivate according e.g. agroforestry systems.  It can surely be time good invested to spend a semester at the farm.

I´m happy to have the ability to continue from where I left my bachelor. I was even happier that he wanted me to have small lectures now and then for wwoof:ers on his farm during my time there. He was rather impressed by my universally holistic approach.

As I said on the phone with him today; where this leads for my sake is too early to say but it would surely be good to have more practical experiences from the sector. Not least with alternative ways of producing food and life supporting services.

/All for this time

Summer break

Time goes on and most students have left Uppsala for this school year. Here Midsummer´s Eve is upon us. It´s going to be my first time doing the Midsummer thing in Uppsala. As usual the weather is predicted to be rather erratic. But I guess Swedes have got the hang of it by now^^

I´m relieved to tell I passed the analysis course. Even managed to get a higher grade, spite the circumstances during the exam. The Interdisciplinary course result was another turn-up. The examiners were pleased with the group quality and boosted my final grade even though I made a late submission on another task.

Right now I´m just waiting for the Discourses course results presented in August. School seems to smile at me:) It has been an interesting year, meeting such a diverse competence in the class room. To my surprise I found the Master level easier than the bachelor. It hasn´t been the same cramming as before. Rather more reflective progress during tasks.

Now I´ve applied to the offices and companies I feel a genuine interested in doing an internship at. The pressure is sky high and some has already declined. One office even managed to lose my application. Perhaps not a good working place then I ensures myself. It would be rather fitting to do the internship at Vafab – the company where the interest once begun, in my home town^^

Summer in the air

After having another last week to complete any last discourses course tasks, I still have mine left^^ On the other hand I at a less than perfect state dragged my body to the analysis course resit, completing the last heavy task for the year in my opinion. Sitting with only one other classmate, accompanied by the wonderful tunes of a hammer drill meanwhile, I used the last strength I could muster to stress myself through that bottle neck – I hope. This was the only exam this year when I really felt really, really worn down. You won’t believe how awfully tired to my very bones I was at that state hahaha.

A rather busy half remaining week with heavy lifting later, I now lie on my stomach in the new accommodation writing this post. Really like her sofa. We are going to be best of friends:D Just to think about it: An own apartment! Well, second hand but hey – it tastes just as good as any happy ending:)

Now I´ve promised myself the first weekend for weeks. From school that is. Next week I´m planning to slam the last “What about me”-cycle down and further straight through the table of the nearest course leader, formally completing this year:)

Then it´s back to rechecking the stats on the SIDA thing and mass-produce more internship applications if things might turn sour. Then the aim is to have the first formal vacation in say, ten, years of work-work. Then it´s early mornings with the lawn mower for 6 weeks at Uppsala cemetery.

Right now I´m just praying that the anti poison stick-god keeps me safe in my new accommodation!

/Until next text

The other side


Nine months ago I met the classmates for the first time. For almost a week ago I arrived at the Norredatorp cabins for the first time. There our ride ended. We were lucky with the weather all three days. It was sunny and bright every day – not a cloud on the sky. Just the still water of the lake along a green lawn where we sat, with the cabins at the hilltop beyond. Lots of time was spent sunbathing on the bridge as well.

There most of us spent the last days together as a class. The final Discourses course tasks were done during the first two days. One or two lost classmates since some courses back decided to show up as well. The second night there was a good bye party and lots of fun.

Now the first year is officially over but I´m still repeating for the resit. Feels good to think about having it all done. The last feedback cycle of “what about me” doesn’t concern me that much. As long as I pass the exam the year should be as good as finished. That would conclude my first journey in one of Sweden´s most student intensive cities.

I hope to be accepted at one of the internship positions I signed up for. Now I´ve spent five years at universities and there would be a relief to feel it has lead to something in the end.

I can also happily announce I got a summer job as well. Something I haven´t had much time for. After cancelling the opportunity at Landkvist´s Garden center the issue has stood still. One telephone call to Uppsala cemetery management and I was back in business again:) Nice to spend the summer outdoors in the sun. I know that a few of my fellow cultivation engineers from the bachelor ended up there full time.

My issues about our environment still go on. The last days there has been talk about water stress and shortages in Sweden. I have hard times seeing me as some kind of expert in sustainable issues as teachers urge us to. I although sincerely begin to wonder about taking a mic, book a lecture hall in Stockholm, making a good example by throwing out the darn laser pointer through the window in front of the audience and explain one thing or two about the deal with our surroundings to people in Sweden.

Well, the year is done! Some things one has to continue searching for. Meantime a man got to do what a man got to do: take on day at a time!

Hope you have enjoyed my blog. All the best!


Chilly ease – the last stop

Spring is turning into summer. The seasonal warmth is being replaced by chilly winds and changing of the tides. Students begin to feel their time here is coming to an end and the last weekends have been filled with one feast after another, in tries to squeeze the last out of the time left. While walking on sunny streets last weekend one could feel the pressure along the craving gazes. Expectation blended with collective iron will – it was spring ball. The night after, youths still laid dormant 🙂

Now the Interdisciplinary practice course is done. The last presentation of the cases was last Wednesday. Now there is one last step left until finish line 2015 – The cabin(s). There the final exercise in the Discourses course will be dealt with before the year is done. That will be the last time together for the remainders of classmates. Already a few has steered their ships homeward. It will be up to the lingering souls of Sustainable students to make the best of it.

I myself am contemplating about my time here in Uppsala. Just as I expected one have met more new faces of which the very most represents personal traits already experienced before. People are not so different wherever they are from. The ease in the heart have once again grew steadier – it doesn’t really matter that people are coming and going since the last ones are always replaced by new ones, taking over the same traits. Perhaps the quality about them is increasing for every time – so why bother regretting or let ghosts of people take the best of you since the next ones will only bring more quality with them. Better focus on the positive memories and possibilities, until next time.

With the Interdisciplinary course done, the evil math behind me and the promise of a decent accommodation early in June I lean back in the chair with the hand over the shoulder, saying Good work Erik! You have done well!  I really feel that I have – once again. The resit date is on the 8th of June which hopefully will be the very end of this study year. My time here in Uppsala was to be devoted purely to studies and so it has been.

Now I´m mostly waiting answers from SIDA via FUF about Internship during the next semester. The more I think of the issue the more I begin to feel that FUF understood better than me, being first surprised by their choice, where my competence really would be needed. First after FUF linked me to their recommendation of own accord FUF passed me through the first selection cycle of the positions I found myself. I really do believe the administrators at the organization saw between the lines what I really was asking for without knowing it myself 🙂 Still I haven´t heard anything from SIDA since they took over but I´m waiting.

So… while spring progresses into the summer´s first period of chilly rains and coming events of good byes I´m surprised over the warmth in my chest, having figured out one or two things about life.

/See you at the other side^^ next time

A fourthnight

There has happened one thing or two since last time. Firstly I heard the other day I passed the evil math! With that part finished I can rest a little upon that accomplished lifeline. Regrettably communication about resit date has stagnated yet again.

Furthermore I passed the home exam in the Interdisciplinary… course, although with a pass owed to late submission. Things outside school have worn on me for a while so during the circumstances I feel rather satisfied anyhow. Hard to believe anyone could have managed any better actually, with one hand clapping the other shoulder.

I also managed to gain some ground in the Worldviews and discourses course. I sat during 5 hours and completed remaining feedbacks until the third and last submission/feedback circle. Today I plan to start up my discussion groups’ last study circle assignment.

The case study goes steadily on. While I was very active during initial parts, acting as a ball plank for the members for issues and questions, I now sit all back in the buss. With the deadline on Friday many feels rather pressed. I although can´t ignore a feeling of being actively pushed backwards by the others. In any case, I don´t mind too… much, since then I have time doing other stuff.

With the case, resit and a last couple of cycles left in the Discourses course I begin to feel that perhaps I´m gonna, although setbacks party with the accommodation, complete the first year on time.

Anyhow – two weeks to go and the evil math behind me! I can smell closure!


Summer´s warmth

Sunday morning and on my way to bed after a rather none productive night. Mostly ended up playing cards with myself. “It´s although a Saturday night” I told myself. May have started disappearing in front of my eyes and I wonder if I really understand that in a couple of weeks or so one going to see most of the class disappear. I haven´t spent that much time with the others though. Actually I haven´t spent any time with them, but the teachers have promised a trip to a cabin during the last few days. So who knows. Doesn´t seem to have much choice^^

I half couldn´t believe the relief of sending in the home exam during last week. It took a couple of days for me to realize that a quite big part of the Interdisciplinary course had been done. Such freedom! I feel as I´ve made a real swing back at the clutching jaws I´ve had nipping at my legs since the announcement of the task. It was rather tricky and a bit intangible but will surely serve its purpose making one more familiar with groping around buzzwords.

After a couple of days from that I asked the program coordinator being present in Uppsala, the answer about the resit day magically appeared. My knight in shining armor once more comes to the rescue. So hopefully that issue is gone from the to-do list. Last time she disarmed ignorant teachers of their laser pointers during at least one course.

The case study has, as announced, changed its course and stabilized on urban greening and I believe that course is going to hold. The emphasis is much on the framing of the method. I don’t know if anyone really has 100 percent track on what we are doing, since the different disciplinary backgrounds make things rather blurry. It´s been interesting and it seems as if people have learned from the last case study – this time everyone is more careful and perhaps even tend to listen to others adding to the approach.

Summer has come to Uppsala followed by its accompanying warmth. Flowering fruit trees in all their splendor mingled with beautiful hedges are eagerly visited by humming bumble bees. Salient green lawns colored by seas of spring flowers, straddled by strollers and bicycles in city parks´sunlight. All to the sounds of laugher and joy.

/Until next time

Final pressure

Once again some too many days squeezed themselves between the glimpses in the palantír. I hope you haven’t waited too long. The first year is approaching its end and so is the remaining stamina. That´s the reason for my late blogging. Will try comensating by writing a little more instead^^.

A few days has passed since the awaited, by many students, Walpurgis evening; or in Swedish: Valborgsmässoafton – the great folk fest of the year in Uppsala. Yesterday I mostly spent listening to students about how wasted they were since. Local news papers declared it a new record – 100 000 people celebrated Valborg in Uppsala. While most students held strictly to parks and events in thousands during the day, I did my best to avoid the most intensive parts. When the fires were lit during the evening many students joined in front of the big fire at Old Uppsala hill, before returning back for the awaited night parties at the so called Nations. Myself joined a less intensive fire cozying among young families, while watching the flames tell  its story about fates and legends long gone.

Valborg fire

Concerning school I begin to feel how much the evil math did wear on me. Regrettably I´m also having a one-way communication with the course leader in question, making me stumble in the dark about the resit date, fearing I missed it… which´s feeding the growing dislike for the course even more. Just draining energy!

I begin to wonder about prospects of completing this year in time – a concern that has kept lurking in my mind since the analysis course. Right now it´s mostly about keeping the calm and take one thing first.

Actually, I´m about to send in my home exam in the Interdisciplinary practice course this night. After sacrificing almost the whole course owed to the evil math, I feel thankful the teachers saw to it that, one way or another, we [will] read literature. Earlier experiences forced them to make it mandatory since many earlier students skipped classes for various reasons. The task was based on literature spanning social fields – a trait of the whole course. It has not been my favorite course but still one of the most important.

The Case study goes on but has changed course a few times. We natural science oriented students gave way to socially oriented ones to dynamically change the approach for the method to fit with expected analyses. This was something I have been told never to do as natural science student. This makes it interesting for me that want to incorporate other´s competence. We are on our way and much has happened the last two days.

The discourses course goes on but I´m having serious trouble keeping pace. There are articles now and then to be analyzed, while we are having a rather intensive feedback exchange within small groups of the What about me book presented before. That´s going to be my next endeavor alongside the case study when the home exam is concluded.

/Until next time

Back from the future

In the moment of swinging open the door to the CEMUS library in the middle of the night I stumbled upon the last fragments of stirrings from the Alumni meeting earlier. I had totally forgotten! There in the sofa sat the last souls from the evening´s activities, battling the sweet seduction from a shared wine bottle.

I took the opportunity to cross-examine them as they were about where their education had taken them. It was a little different; some were idling since a year or so; others worked as advisors; while some had jobs in the work sector. It was not that straight forward for interdisciplinary gifted persons to use their competence genuinely. Most laid back at their former educations and used this Master as added value.

There were although promises about a brighter future when companies had better grasped these more dynamic competences from experiences so far. Just as I thought it will be up to me to communicate my skills until companies and institutions has adapted.

The case study goes on. The group has agreed to dive into property issues for Controlled Environment Agriculture in dense built city areas as an example of urban agriculture. Some are more optimistic than others about the explosion of this hype. We are to begin with interviewing stakeholders about their willingness to rent properties for such use.

Next week we are about to visit the hydroponic cultivation project in Högdalen in Stockholm as a part of the study. Meantime we are presented the individual task for the course built on earlier course material. I have no real idea yet about the essence of it. I can only try to get as much out of the way as possible during the two days of the task.

The last CEMUS course runs its little course as we use to say in Swedish. There´s going to be a lot of small evaluating exercises done in groups. If things go as I hope it feels rather straight forward. Still I´ve to do the evil math exam but I hope the theory will be easier than the computing. So one feels quite busy with the last tasks of the first year.

/All the best

Nearing the end

Another weak has past and soon May is upon us. The Slow violence task is done. Quite fun to merge scientific writing with fiction. I took the opportunity to write about that our high sea fleets are the driving factor for laying the rail for even more trade and consumption affecting the poor. That was one of my versions of Slow violence.

This CEMUS course has been the most interactive. Next book is the What about me? by Paul Verhaeghe.  A real heavyweighter if you ask me. A book of our time where humans give each other a hard time. It opened with a case of a fellow employee being strapped in front of a car while driving around with the poor thing. Not even 20 pages and the uneasy feeling begins. An adult version of Lord of the flies.

Tomorrow we’ll visit Lake Tämnaren outside Uppsala. It has been subjected a long time for social and environmental discussions between different interests. Depending on how the visit is conducted it could be very interesting and fit well in an interdisciplinary approach. I look forward to something more delighting than the last field trip^^

I´m trying to search more internship but to be honest I´m quite exhausted. The evil math after a psychologically exhausting case study took its toll. No Christmas brake^^ I urge next year’s students to make that brake!

A little more than a month left at the program now. I know some are leaving, conducting their thesis right now. A few of those will return to work, others were disappointed.  Others are leaving too but will do their second year at home with their internship and thesis.

/That´s all for now


Spring has finally begun to secure its position in the long struggle against winter´s presence. I´ve spent the last week reading the Slow Violence book that left me quite exhausted. That´s the reason for the delay of this next blog post.

I begin to realize I actually survived the hardships with the evil math alongside three other courses. While bribing one of the leading engineers with 1000 SEK in the class to take me through this awful course I heard from him that many in the class had thrown in the towel. The evil math course had eventually teased more people than me to their limits.

With only the exam left on the analysis course I can also happily announce I passed the environmental assessment course. It feels good to be able to tap myself on the shoulder knowing I found a way through it all. The math has always had a way to force me down on my knees. A tip would be for those having problems in the subject to choose another course if possible.

The Interdisciplinary practice course goes on. After presenting various approaches and models of focus the course now have ordered us in groups, developing the last parts of our problem statements for the year´s second big case study. Once again teachers are experiencing how the interdisciplinary approach can wake to worst in group members. This time the phenomenon affected other groups than mine. At least something.

I have been contacted a couple of times now by organizations interested of recommending me as intern for their clients. Feels good to imagine a semester away from class rooms and the disgusting laser pointers that sometimes teachers cling on to as it were their teddy bear or something. Yes, I´m having some problems with the subject. I don´t think these toys have anything to do inside classrooms, especially by so called grownups.

Now I´m about to begin the Slow Violence assignment in the Discourses course. Things are going forward and doing my best to complete what’s left of this school year.

/Until next time


While number of courses have declined I´m having more time to other pressing issues. One of the most troublesome is the incredibly vague and sloppy attitude in which eye doctors and agencies manage laser issues. This social sustainability problem is of very high concern. Many people don´t believe their ears when I tell horrific stories about how suffering people with laser induced eye problems are met by eye doctors.

Many have their lives destroyed. Some have waited many years for help while eye doctors continue making fun of them, leaving them to their fate, unable to use their eyes owed to e.g. extreme light hypersensitivity. Still when I´m contacting eye doctors they cannot follow scientific discussions connected to the matter, leaving the question: how can this be allowed in a country such as Sweden, having the best eye hospital in Europe?

I´ve spent last days calling leading authorities in Sweden. Just like last time doctors are trying to solve world’s problems on their own, disregarding their obligation to include other scientists clinical results, avoiding to check those even in regard to their profession. Now it also becomes an scientific ethical question linked to eye doctors.

Socially oriented scientists would surely raise great amounts of critic if this vane attitude would be manifested within their ranks, disregarding or denying important discourses.

One of the greatest debates I´m having is low effect lasers since those who ought to know better relentlessly renders class 2 as completely safe. If laser issues takes time to engage in, then class 2 takes the price because one needs to know the history of the classes. When they were developed scientists during the 60s and 70s did [not] render class 2 as safe. Far from it. Still that groundbreaking In Vivo research is actively neglected without reason.Laser safety class 2.

Still I´m having these debates with eye doctors every time in contact  with them. Always the same vane answer: “I don´t care what you say, I will not listen to you and I will not do any reading”. Meanwhile people are suffering.

Anyone having doubts about cl. 2 laser safety? Take a look at the link for cl. 2 warning labels.



The spring has come to Uppsala. Yesterday I saw the Sallow´s flowers beginning to emerge. Genuine warmth is finally here. Going alongside the shoreline in Uppsala one can see migrating birds gathering in the low lands.

This week has been spent reading the Slow Violence book for the CEMUS course lecture next Friday. A real change since the evil math course feeling undertaken tasks are completed. I´m still waiting for answers from the Environmental assessment course.

The plan right now is to continue searching internships. Hehe feels as if one hasn´t had any life from the period of four courses simultaneously. One has time to take a breather between tasks. Four courses were too much. Regrettably I have to engage in the leftovers from the evil math tasks that are growling in the deep recesses of my mind. Sigh… Well a man got to do what a man got to do. Sort of.
Alnarp Park Dam

Meanwhile I´m thinking back at the years in the Alnarp Park during my bachelor, remembering old clearings within the green spaces of color.


The laser generation


Yeah I know. I swamped with the completion of the first two courses in line. I also read about our problematic laser-society. Hoping the interruption can be justified since the laser issue is acute. I will try to compensate for my delay, focusing on eye injuries.

My assessment of the Norra Länken is hopefully done. It´s in the hands of my supervisor. Mobility was favored over long term sustainability hoping technology would save us. It was an effort to increase traffic pressure and lead emissions away to someone else, with some hot spots within the city still. There could be acute problems for hypersensitive persons in tunnels.

Regrettably I went ill for the evil math test. Am on my knees unable deciding if it was bad actually. Will take the next test.

Soo.. Laser. To focus radiation a certain direction as a tool, also responsible for lot´s of suffering, partly via eye damages. Even if it has existed since the 1960s and became hype manifested via movies such as Star Wars or Star Trek, until people finally learned it was not a toy, our generation has started all over again – unlearning their lesson. It was developed by military endeavors partly to drop LGBs by USA. Anyone played Starcraft? “Someone called for an exterminator!”. Same principle. The laser was developed to a societal planning tool, partly as rotating lasers, or distance mapping where it’s essential. I´ve worked with them myself. It´s as best a working tool that shall not belong to individuals! The last ten years since the older generation have begun to lay down their guard, laser companies work in the dark, forcing lasers into civil societies. Irradiation agencies are warning that laws and regulation hasn´t been able to protect our generation resulting in lots of injuries and grey areas when it comes to damages. If you get hurt – no one can help you! Almost no eye doctor in Sweden have done their homework making the issue a nightmare for the ones hurt, even with detectible damages in tissues = anomalies.

After spreading to stores, offices, laser shows, warehouses, eye surgeries etc. BMW and Audi began using high effect lasers as headlights. Cl. 4 – the highest class. There´s no upper limit in this one but uses are partly for cutting metal or eye surgeries. I myself was struck in my eyes by laser headlights at night and I´ve still pain in my eyes. To use amplified radiation in traffic in this sense is madness. It seems as if the phosphors layer only breaking the precision from the laser like a prism and creating wider nanometer scale; thereby white light from the blue nm scale, while absorbing a few photons, sure… BMW and Audi. While people has reported problems with the LED diodes for being too strong for their eyes, now BMV and Audi are bragging that these cl. 4 460-500 nm (blue) lasers generate over 1000 times the effects than LED diodes.

I´m sure many people will suffer and I will never forget this betrayal by BMW and Audi. This begun as another sale trick to vane people risking other persons’s eyes. Since there is a demand they now presenting this as if we in society have an obligation to use their lasers in headlights too.. as in everything else, if laser producing companies have it their way. I´ve been in contact with multiple retailers and producers of laser myself, asking the question why they don´t even demand license before selling even cl. 3 & 4 hand lasers to unauthorized people. The answer as according to so many others I´ve spoke to: Nothing! Not a word!

On photos the guy that developed both LED- and 460-500 nm laser (blue) radiation sources wear anti-laser absorbing lenses in his lab. Even though the precision of course isn´t that acute via the headlights, the situation is not that comforting for those without anti laser protection. Laser don´t belong with individuals BMW and Audi!

This could perhaps very well be dangerous for the traffic safety also. For those who are unsure, be assured the developers have programmed the headlights to avert the front and blinding everyone else along the roads instead.

I believe laser is going to be the post industrialized problem of this generation. A scientist I spoke with at KTH in Stockholm a very well regarded technically oriented university, said that: I believe that when enough people’s lives have been destroyed, lasers are going to be re-regulated again, but not before.

No – wavelength has very little to do with classes or damage; one can get just as strong output effect from a 530 nm laser as a 680 nm = the “color” doesn´t matter that much.

Problems reported from cl. 2 lasers:

Light sensitivity –  can´t be outside in worst case = not much of a life. Same for cl. 3 & 4.
Bright spot or area in your vision when trying to sleep. E.g. a red spot = very disturbing.
Reduced vision
Irritated eyes, red, tearing.
Hard to focus longer periods in front of a computer screen or tv.

Can be found: Barcode scanners, AF laser to mobile phones, presentation pointers.

Problems reported from  cl. 3.

Blindness, Retina detachment, Detectible bleedings in eye tissue.
Destroyed detail vision forever = e.g. can see periphery but can´t read text.
Chronic vision loss in parts of ones visual field.

Can be found, Strong pointers/scanners, laser shows, other adapted lasers.

Problems reported by cl. 4.
Total coagulation of eye tissues = ruined/burnout.
Cornea haze.

Plus many mentioned above.

Can be found
Extremely strong lasers such as rust removals, pointers, add ons, surgical fat reduction lasers, epidermal surgical lasers, metal cutting, and military targeting systems.

/Until next time


I have tried to find the time giving a word or two about incoming comments. After some time I guess one have to, take, the time. I want to thank for all the uplifting comments about my achievements. Especially the spammers. Thank you for the fantastic credit. It´s although sad that it in end it ruins for others. I have learned that much from professionals – be thankful for what one receive and then erase the spam. It takes so much time tracing every message of which one doesn´t know for sure if it´s genuine. I want everyone who have written genuine messages to know I read them. Thank you!



Fresh evening air, damp and soothing filled with birds stirring has made its mark upon the days´ progressing. Dry snow has given way to humid rain bringing with it the smell of soil. The generating biosphere has finally been called upon to wake up and enrich all life so desperately dependent on it, reaching out once more for all who are waiting.

Soon the Sallow (S. caprea) will come into blossom giving aid to struggling bees, bumblebees, insects, birds and so many more – every being depending on its food in still a barren countryside and concrete bunkers. The agents that so well protecting others not least humans from diseases spread through the food web, have also been summoned. Their incredibly unthankful work owed to the latter´s strong fear for them has just begun.

Stirrings of the human animal have finally begun to settle since the spring’s call reached them. Yesterday I concluded the last scheduled system analyze lecture knowing I have failed. I can´t afford to concentrate on that now and just have to finish the Environmental assessment before the next deadline at Thursday. After that it´s just to throw myself on the exam material for the analysis course with my half bitter smile in defeat.

Sitting with the Norra Länken again having focused on other courses since; my new perspective clearly shows how much time I´ve actually put into it. Now the framing is done and with a supporting hand on my own shoulder I guess I´ve done best possible fighting so much on other´s terms last weeks with the evil math.

I will draw in the dank evening smell listening to the birdsong promising something new in my life since what feels as a very long time ago.

/Until next time


Sightings of coming spring are in the air and stirrings of people have begun to increase. Class mates are in this slightly notable high gear mode and one can feel that something about our world is changing. Just like every year.

It feels terrific to think of what lies on other side of the last evil math lecture. Still I´ve failed completing this evil plan. Right now I´m trying to focus on getting the lecture done. On the side the Norra Länken thing is to be concluded within a week. The rest have to wait.

Speaking of light, thoughts about my strive combating increasing laser problems in societies have begun occupying my mind again. Here the other day I was struck in my eyes by these new car laser-headlights in the dark – just another exposure in a long line from various laser products, e.g. laser scanners (Bar code scanners) or presentation pointers, that have made my own and so many others lives incredibly complicated.

Many in contact with eye doctors have been sold out and discredited. For a couple of years I sat in phone and by mail with scientist, eye doctors, institutions, retailers of laser safety equipment etc. from countries as US, UK, Sweden and Germany. Some conversations more comfortable than others while the medical and physiological debate raged back and forth. Soon I became one of the most educated persons in entire Sweden about documented damages alongside physiological discussions – eye doctors included. The latter regrettably continues to dodge both their homework and role in this mess.

So while school demands much of my time I´m swamped in an inner struggle whether I have energy left to raise the laser issue again in relation to social responsibilities.

/Until next time


March is upon us, and I feel the school´s slowly progress to its final stages. Yesterday the last CEMUS course – the final obstacle for the first year completion of the program, was presented. I don´t think I have any anxiety left to wonder about how this is going to play itself out. Right now it´s just one day after the next, until the first two courses in line are finished. Then one can begin to think forward.

Used the last hours yesterday searching for internship during hopefully the whole autumn semester 2016. It´s striking how different one is met by companies also contacted after the bachelor – now suddenly interested owed to the Master-thing on the diploma. Before one was just a filthy bachelor. Useless. Now you are a Master. The tone in the telephone is uplifting and focused. I had expected it easier, but this… One begins to wonder.

The summer´s will have taken the upper hand yet again and slowly the cold have stopped feeding the suffocating snow on top of the green and palpable beginning its way to blossom. The other night one could still hear the omitting sounds of drops from melting snow atop roofs and downpipes. “Still above melting point in the middle of the night”, I thought. I believe the snow going to lose this one. At least its accompanying darkness fades away leaving the ice and cold to fend for themselves.

I hope one can depicture the same situation about the studies next time. Really need some of it coming loose soon.

/Until next time


The evil math is taking its toll. Just as feared I failed finishing the next last task. Many others were afraid of the same fate I guess because the ones that demanded most help got it, holding on to the teacher for up to an hour each. Dorks like me sat without any, most of the time^^… eight hours of waiting. Hard times when the teacher favors the best ones, those that already has left the class room while we are still stuck, bleeding energy over all the other courses.

I fear I have to abort this endeavor owed to the circumstances, to deal with it later. It´s hard and irritating but life isn´t fair as at least some surely knows. I can only be grateful that the third course – Interdisciplinary practice contains so far… much information since before.

At Friday we get the fourth course in our laps and I wonder how some persons really though when they planned this. I remember one of the CEMUS staff saying something like “This is an easy program so if you want to have something out of it, it will be up to you to challenge yourselves”, or something similar. Well I can only say that I haven’t done anything else than studying since I arrived.

Time, patience and endurance are running out, blended with frustration and anger about how the analysis course has been organized… Others have been sharing my opinion, although there seems to be no questioning that I´m the one really getting burned here. Math is really not my thing, while most of the technological engineers have found it easy.

Hard times talking to the hand and still there is a fifth battle coming, besides the fourth; as good as untouched.



Yeah I know; I hope potential readers aren´t too disappointed. Somewhere along the way I was run down by my undertakings. It begun with the fourth Evil math task that sucked me completely dry of my reserve. When one´s weak the predators coming.. yeah you know the drill. One thing, on person on top of the next.. like domino.

Here I am again having a full weekly rest behind me and feeling the stamina building up in my veins yet again. I don´t think I will manage completing the fourth exercise tomorrow meaning it will be dragged behind slamming into the next task in line. So far I´m doing the “Big breath” thing in my den and mentally preparing for the evil math.DSC02662

The Norra Länken task also swamped but is now framed enough so I can begin filling in the fact. I understand why authorities have hidden it all under the carpet and why it has taken so long to fill in the blank spots. It´s amazing what a mess it was. But the big question: Will my assessment be in the best interest of the Swedish government at the time, approving the decision? Well, I can´t say but it doesn´t look good. Not good at all!

During the Weekend I also run into some euphoria thing, releasing some of the pressure. I watched Unstoppable having lain on the shelf collecting dust since 2010. Oh, what I was into a surprise! It felt just as being back at work as a newbie again and how these amazing old dogs within the logistic enterprise have learned me so much. Déjà vu! Will be forever thankful for all their advise during the years. These persons have learned me so much about the world that can´t be taught in a lecture hall. Two of them even paid me a visit ^^
Boss & colleague

That´s all for now.

Battle ships

A new week is about to start which gives me about one day to rush this thing into motion knowing it will come to a halt when the third course falls upon me. This Norra Länken thing has really proven to be a hard nut to crack but after countless of mails, phone calls and archived materials I´m finally in the state of having read it through.

I have a feeling the ones that did the scanning feel a bit worn down themselves 🙂 It has been like playing Battle ships; ” – Oh, I got your 232… – Miss!” (Having the content page in my lap). Sometimes they messed the numbers up, sometimes I messed them up. I could almost hear a “Sigh” on the other side of the screen, while hoping they would put up with it. Issue by issue… page by page…. now finally done!Scanned strategical docs

It´s not often nowadays I study during weekends. After mistreating both mind and body during the bachelor I lost the taste for the mainstream hunting grade-thing. So at least I take it easy on that part. If the employers turn me down because pass grades – then so be it! I´ve done my student obligation in the arena of running around and act hysterical. This time I just want it done.


New insights

Winter is back in Sweden sweltering any traces of warmth along hopes of spring. In a single night the tides turned. Capriciousness of the Swedish winter alongside school goes steadily on. The last SLU course coming round the corner next week. Within a fortnight last CEMUS course rolling in ending the queue for this year.DSC02652

Yeah, one can feel just as promised how the time slipping away. Still I haven’t finished the environmental assessment, nor are all the computerized system models ready. Beside there´s an exam slowly progressing. Soon we are dealing with the fact having three courses simultaneously.

As I expected we got graded on the Man, Society and Environment course today. While I liquidated the issue in a seconds the others.. well.. would continue whatever it is they have been doing. Not my headache anymore. I´m finally free of it.

I´m actually looking forward completing my assessment now when the studies makes sense again. Things progressing so smooth! Even passed today’s system lecture. It’s not much left!



Ever since the University installed the incoming blog filter I´ve been rather isolated here from any incoming comments… ^^ …Incoming messages just disappeared. Since I´m new to this blog thing I recommend to contact CEMUS if there are any questions that just can´t wait, while I´m trying the Peter Stormare-Armageddon-lift-off-thing here.


Mornings carrying some rejuvenation are dropping by through the window a little earlier every day sending its warm greetings, while winters´ disappearing presence still defies by taking back some of its lost temperature. Morning chats in ever increasing sunny corridors outside classrooms have been manifested by Swedish ambiguous weather.

It feels good that there have been talks about words from the Man, Society and Environment course of passing the class now waiting for the formalities. It has been a tedious group dynamics that have pounded on both body and soul. Hearing that everyone now hopefully can go their own way is more than welcomed.

Yeah! Sometimes confusion between disciplines can take sour turns. I now understand why SLU has been labeling itself as one of the very best universities of natural resource management in the world. That became very obvious this time. Bittersweet serenity is blended with some promise of being free 🙂

At the same time the Norra Länken task and yes… even some of the evil math have given way. It feels at last as I have breached through, giving justice to my endurance.

For the first time in weeks I feel as if I´m beginning to climb on top of things again!

/Until next time



With another study week past & gone I can lean back in the computer chair and look forward to some well deserved taco shells later. No studies this weekend.

After multiple days in relentless research in various databases without breakthrough I heard from the first body of institution in line I begun to call over the phone that: “Oh, yeah the quality research about Norra Länken (one of northern Europe´s largest tunnel projects in high densely built areas) – that data we got rid of years ago”. … … So without even having finished the ten year, so far, project, research supporting the decision to engage with the heavy criticized endeavour is more or less gone from most authoritative institutions^^ Speaking of sustainable heritage!

With the phone going warm during Thursday and Friday between county boards, governmental institutions and departments, legal representatives, researchers being authors to long gone half forgotten papers or articles, etc. things finally begun to unravel this mystery.

One dusty paper after another declaring governmental and other  institutional decisions about the matter over the years were scanned form archives and sent to an enduring students´mail during the time span of a couple of days. I´m waiting for more primary sources next week from another archive.

In the end I managed to drop the papers I was assigned to compile in the teachers drop box around yesterday at midnight. No stress:) I also had some enjoyment reading a couple of hour´s fiction before descending into some well deserved sleep.

That´s all until Evil chapter 2 on Monday – more rabbits!

Looking ahead

With the Thursday´s slow progress into evening I can tell with fact in hand that my deadline for yesterday remained intact. Almost at the end of the teachers so called lunch, forty five minutes after booked schedule we measured each other´s gaze in front of the computer screen and felt we had arrived.

At the next last task in line containing a very simple.. obviously.. programming allowing for dynamic change within a system containing rabbits and regrettably for their sake hungry foxes, one has to know when to let it go. To visually see the spectacle had to be left to the classmates ahead of schedule, already away for lunch half way through the next booklet of upcoming Insidemaker tasks. One has to take things for how they are on good and bad I guess. I´m through evil chapter one!

The good thing is that now I can finally begin compiling references for the Environmental Assessment course. Hopeful not to ramming into someone else´s theme I have decided to write down some lines (6-10 pages) about the infrastructure route “Norra Länken” in Swedish in Stockholm; our beloved concrete bunker one and a half hour due south. Guess the translation to English could be something like: The northern underground pass.

It has been a controversial project for decades in favor for the ones believing in what I would call “consumption out of ongoing over consumption” and of course the freedom of unrestricted mobility owed to making free way for the car.

That feels like a good description about the bearing for next time!

Fighting the good fight

The second week of the new courses is nearly done. The good fight against the evil math rages on while I´m dreaming about better times. Good times for the ones fond of numbers though. Feeling that I´m really begin to miss biology, biochemistry, anatomy etc. from the SLU bachelor; a science oriented discipline one actually understand.Sustainable development Uppsala universitySpent the Friday night hours in one of Uppsala University´s houses, figuring out how to hopefully kill this math-task-thing until no later than Monday so I can for the first time do something on the other course which has its first deadline on Friday. 

It feels good that winter slowly goes towards spring. I also see that the semester starts with another reward for SLU according to the university course page. Seems as a nice starting point for the second semester. Just gonna survive the math some more weeks now. I can begin to see distant light in the tunnel 🙂

Surely served me!


I remember I wished for more practical drills this semester. Well I surely got what I asked for. A whole morning with excel exercises and the night after I´m still having headache. Many others, especially the practical oriented engineers seemed real happy for the first time meaning that finally there was some challenge.

Knowing there will be four more challenges promised to go deeper into excel management without having finishing yesterday´s lecture´s tasks, this is going to be a…. course if one isn´t into math.

Meanwhile mosts classmates are hissing on about the other course which seems to bother those more – the Environmental assessment course with its ongoing essay. Well I guess we all are strong and weak about our respective abilities.

My own is going to be my old arch enemy: MATH!!! We shall see who stands and who falls! I for one feel really really beaten up for the first time in this program.

In the end I although came here to learn so guess the time is well spent.

All for this time!

Welcome to the first frontier

Welcome to the MSD program blog!

4 months done and just as much to go… This year! Good work Erik! Shall see if one can manage to find some internship next autumn, which would mean nearly zero classrooms next year. This semester we´re going to spend most time at Ultuna (SLU) which means lesser favorable mornings. It also means a little more intense studying by various reasons. The 10.15 mornings at Uppsala University has been greatly diluted by 08.00 (sharp-mornings). New semester; new tasks and thereby new issues to get confused about together depending on one’s background since before.

The first 30 credits are nearly done. The class still wrestles the Christmas (holyday) resilience oriented group works that´s being dragged along. The new courses: Environmental assessment and System analysis for sustainable development just came round the corner and I must say I have a some trouble sorting out the two right now. Just as it should be obviously.

The new word is “systems”. I´ll count systems along with the sheep during nights soon. Focal systems and wicked problems from talk the talk still lingers like a song still clinging on to my brain.

Yeah, welcome to the first frontier of the MSD program or rather Masters ‘program in sustainable development! Here´s the program for you that favors social sciences with an overarching interest to feel some pressure over few glimpses of natural resource management tasks and chemistry passing by now and then. For me with a science background with major abilities in biochemistry, soil science and landscape management etc. I hope there could be a little more of walk the walk this semester.

Well that´s all for now!