I accidently swamped for a time. Now I´m here again.
What has happened? I am still working on my thesis with an extended deadline. Since I struggle with this eyes thing, endeavors take more time for me. Here the other week many class mates came together again and presented their thesis. I can´t say more than that, because I don´t know more than that. I didn´t travel northward to see the presentations. I can only guess there is much relief right now. As the plans are now I will present after the summer in my own pace and own way. Keeping my fingers crossed here:)
I´ve also got a job since some weeks back at a plant nursery blended with a garden center. These guys have stood knee deep in the mud their whole life producing hundreds of thousands of plants each year. I learn a lot, not least about lost connections to old ways of sustaining our selves. I suffer lots of drawbacks about old ways of livelihoods and get some points made as well in discussions with these veterans.
As I felt during the internship at the farm I had forgot how much I lost from my life since the paper exercise began with lots of physical inactiveness in front of the screen while stretching skin. So I feel in relation to my lost trust in genuine science and eye problems that I probably will be one of those that deviate from a 100% scientifical path.
I guess that time will tell. Now I have a serious cold that keeps me in bed since a couple of days. The consequence is that I´m typing this in the middle of the night because I slept the whole day. Nothing new for me though when I´m in school.
The thought of getting passed this bottleneck of the Master level feels as a relief. I recall the narcissistic attitudes from people within this costume enterprise excluding me on the sole principle of being a shitty Bachelor. Right now I´m doing this more for personal development rather than for being credited. As with the issue of sustainability in science these days I feel that it´s time perhaps that the Romantic finally after competing 25 years on other people’s terms finally can develop his own way, with an open channel between.