Monthly Archives: January 2017

Wicked repetition

Yesterday the last of the internship course was done. We ended with some last presentation from internships. The spell bound audience was other students. As it looks now I should have concluded about 75 percent of the Master program. Regrettably the last light in my eyes with the very strong lamp has begun to take the best of me. Just like during the Bachelor thesis some higher power or something decided to drop down on me again like a splinter in my eye. Literaly.

Just now I´m in some emergency-panic mode. Mostly wondering how I´m going to do this. Feel stunned most of the time. If it can be done at all. These new toys including lasers are really killing my eyes. Would really have been interesting to have an approval about the topic during my thesis. Although it seems as I have to do with what I have.

I got the feedback from the examiner, of which I had to redo some of the proposal. It was expected since I just stressed it in. So after some changes I´m to send it back and be on my way. It´s rather good actually to get some feedback. Then I can sense the dynamics of what the focus is when writing within the social science.

Well. I guess it´s one day at a time as usual while one wonders if these sudden deaths to the eyes will ever stop. Amazing how the history managed to repeat itself.

/Struggling on

Looking back

It´s thesis time which creates a moment to look back on the program. There has been a rather straightforward journey spatially alternated between the two universities, with a possible individual second year. The absence of these sighs in the class rooms about the environment word is a relief. Here everyone is just as into various issues. For the first time in school I was surrounded by people having more interest than me into this.

As if that wasn´t enough each members’ knowledge in the class becomes an asset by itself. Engineers of different kinds, medicine students, biologists, geologists, law-, economic students, linguists, anthroposophist – and well, many others. Every one of us handpicked. All have contributed to the overall goal to intertwine knowledge and scientific disciplines. The code word is Interdisciplinary studies. It´s has been a high application pressure for this program, over 600 when I applied.

We have roamed across all sorts of fields and requirements of competences creating the need for some in real time to uphold others. One stand or fall together in case studies and group works. Everyone has been forced to learn good and bad sides of themselves. Some dragged lots of regrets from favoring the own discipline at the beginning. While many felt the program opened up way to slow, so many more felt the noose closing in on group works very fast if bleeding over the interdisciplinary group homogeneity. Yeah, if you want to contribute later on in life this program are sure to learn you the greatest lesson in life: listen first!

So where too, after the program? While we evolved in both our major and ability to learn others´, we were told by alumni that our lesson hasn´t been learned in overall academic society. Most hasn´t been drilled as we have, to overcome pride and prejudice to others’ competence. Meantime demand in the scientific sphere to over bridge this flaw has been notable for years. It seems as some players out there begin to give in a bit to their beliefs in experts rather than dynamic competences.

From what I´ve learned during this year, the contribution from science will never reach its potential of sustainable and interlinked with the rest of society without such training this program offers.


System thinking

Cleaning the brain from studies. Watching some of the greatest gamers ever in Starcraft Brood war. How weird it might seem, the Starcraft platform has given me lots of system knowledge. From as far back as I can remember, the dynamics between the three styles, perfectly balanced as a whole, not just between units as in the second game constitutes a very basic truth about conclusions made in science; the survival of the fittest, as Darwin put it. Together with another dude which was robbed by much of the recognition;)

Many years after my mind was blown away by the genuinity of Blizzard (at the time) I still can draw very linear conclusions about, war, human resources and sustainable development. Just as provoking as it might be sitting in the position with lots of fans looking, backing off because natural resources are depleted, the situation is the same for real societies’ politicians with their voters, having depleted all forests, humus and soils owed to wars.

I wonder for example how Africa might have looked 10 000 years ago. When told at the time that it hadn´t changed that much – Africa had an arid climate already then – it didn´t really fit that well in my mind. Especially many years later when old rivers have been detected under the sand dunes. I mean, just in Sweden we had serious desert landscapes with moving dunes before. It doesn’t take that much time for induce it or to freeze the situation, as had been concluded about Sweden.

The platforms from Starcraft are so thankful to study from that viewpoint. Really lots to be learned just by setting the reality in some contrast. In some ways as Mikael Ende did during his time. One can really argue whether other approaches than the ordinary actually could bring more clarity about the reality, to know how to perceive reality in some more consequent way, even towards such we have taken for granted.

Well. Awesome game, awesome interface and a lot to be learned. Haha still 20 years later on the year, I´m still blown away. Take a glance from some of the milestones and give the words some thought, would you?

We´re sitting playing realities of human behavior and natural resource management for fun. Well provoking, isn´t it? I wonder what academy could learn from introducing these interfaces into the education^^

/Thanks for reading

In position!

The deadline has passed and to begin with the bad news. A little kid here the other day thought it was funny angling this new bicycle light straight into my eyes from within an arms length, hidden best possible behind open hands. So now my eyes are messed up again. Hard to focus longer periods on the computer screen with lots of pain during nights when the eyes are relaxing. Sigh! Sure I could study for this restricted time frame, but I´m really hoping the eyes can come back, somewhat at least. One never knows.

The good news! I made the deadline! I managed the registration:) Thank you Åsa! Must have been the fastest research proposal ever. Little more than a week. Thankfully – alleviating my eyes for potential remastering, my supervisor having represented our interdisciplinary program, was more interested of my coming design than the proposal; do I understand what´s coming?

He said we students are representing a field romanticized by fellow academics off which most back down when asked themselves. It´s a no-man’s-land where students ends up bridging the flaws of professional academic idealism. It seems to me as if this program via continuous thesis framing, is bringing a higher potential of knowledge AND wisdom.

This seems with warmth in my heart, true for me as well bound to a deal I made with the supervisors. As of now I´ve fallen between the chairs. What begun as reluctance to be the main supervisor into the own discipline ended up with two supervisors to aid with much but what their positions could.

This is a long shot of trust between three entities of which the student should feel the seriousness, which I do! Both supervisors says: “I can´t aid you with tasks my position in this enterprise should entitle me too”. At the same time, here it comes; this is the exact position I have sought during almost ten years in the academy! The same position that´s lacking today. I can´t believe it!

Now it´s me that have been entrusted to wield the knowledge of experts around me, as a Holist, giving aided value to our endeavor, via the broadness, not depth, of my education. I feel this is going to be very interesting. Either way I´m going to explore a position that seems as a hot spot for what have been demanded among overall science latest years; a holist partly leading among experts for a synergy with direction and communication.

/That´s it!


With three days left to the research proposal deadline I found a primary supervisor, completing the trinity that is to propel the thesis. I can say that the course coordinator seemed very pleased with the news. I´m pleased to feel that this might still be possible. I´m also most thankful to my understanding course Coordinator which really tries her best to keep her ducklings in line. Without her understanding and help, this would have been close to impossible.

I´m also glad that the supervisor himself seems very encouraging, hoping that the little timeframe for corrections will be enough for me. My evaluator which I met first in line of current events seemed to recognize the implications with the interdisciplinary approach. Very humbly she as a professor, into the empiric field of focus, made a disclaimer about the sole clinical field of importance. It was better if someone more fit for the task was to lead this thesis representing a rather windling path of various scientific disciplines.

I myself have been alternating between completing agreements with various interlinking authorities, gluing some romantic will of survival into the game of staying with the head over the water surface. It´s here the importance of the course leader comes into the picture. With some last council in her office before the weekend, I´m off trying to complete a proposal for the deadline. Thank you Åsa!

Right now it´s mostly about the method of choice, which is mainly what the E-level thesis seems to be about: making a thought through proposal and train to follow that to the point.

With that being said I´m still struggling with the former landlord that went uncomfortably silent when I called their try to cut from my deposition with a bill I haven´t seen, with a well… visible bill! Right now I´m just trying to keep that situation static, to contain it while forcing the research proposal and possibility to get income into motion. If that works I guess one can force an end to this crap-relationship, hopefully without getting robbed. Ah, it really takes a lot of energy when sitting with the beard in the post box as some Swedes say.

I´m also trying to finish the last parts and deals about the internship course. I sent the last requested info to hopefully get the sought after insignia that I´ve formally been there. Today I sent in the final report and hoping to get the formalities concerning the supervisor into a completion.

So! This weekend will mostly, hopefully, be about the research method and some minor issues.

Well, that´s about it folks!


Remembering that time is ticking I´m hurrying through lots of literature in the subject I chose, hoping that it will be enough to make this work. I´ve spent a couple of phone calls and a mail to reach potential supervisors. As of now I´m awaiting answer from one specialized in poultry fodder at my university.

I´ve still haven´t heard anything from the internship course coordinator about what´s the deal. I know that the staff has been idling, stretching skin for weeks now since Christmas break, but a bit worried still of the silence.

At the same time I´m trying to finish the deal with the former lend lord, which I just want to forget. Got a suspicious mail yesterday about cutting at my deposition for bills I haven´t even seen yet.

Things still remain quite stressful about, well everything to the next semester. A conclusion from what I´ve suffered through so far is that: when my sixth sense begins to alarm about all sorts of unserious persons – then listen to that voice! It might reduce a lot of rough rounds about well, everything from school to roofs over the head.

/That´s all

Rushing to a pause

Friday night and biding my time doing more of these small diffuse errands I´ve been doing the whole day. Lots of mails left and right about the last internship course steps. Meanwhile I´ve not concluded everything with the former accommodation. Still haven´t got my 10 000 SEK deposition back.

Watching starcraft (2) matches while idling over some printed articles about hops and it´s antimicrobial effects. Got in contact with someone today that would ask yet another someone to be my supervisor.

I believe this idea could actually be realized. If I just can get going rather fast. Will try to read some articles during the weekend to be ready for a potential supervisor first thing next week. If I make the deadline I´ll make room for a couple of weeks off. I need a break:P


Balancing the scale

Hello  again!

I´m sitting at a new accommodation with the internship behind me. Now there´s probably gonna be a tug of war about views and opinions of the final report. I also hope there won´t be problems from late submissions of diary chapters. Oh this internship has really worn on the ability to find energy. I won´t celebrate until the report is submitted and I´ve a clearer view about consequences from the late submissions.

January has just kicked in with full force and the thermometer shows -17 degrees Celsius. The ground is white and sparkles in the sunshine during the days and depicturing the landscapes´ forms and features in late nights’ moonlight. I myself is trying to get the hang of the situation both with the new accommodation and how fair chance I got to make the deadline. I´m balancing right now on falter and success; don´t knowing when any of them´s gonna claim me.

If I just was to leave the internship and everything with it rather easy now I could actually make it. The subject has changed again although. The course leader didn´t buy the relation to sustainable development and lasers. Anyhow I got green light on hops in animal fodder for its antibacterial properties, to lighten the load of antibiotics to animals in agricultural sectors.

This is a subject I´ve had my eyes on for some years, but never got the time to delve deeper into. It´s a fairly interesting subject as well as rather tangible based on my university studies. Guess I´m beginning to search info and for a supervisor tomorrow, if not arguing about the report. Oh… sigh. At least I´m through the training!

That´s all for now.